97 (All) 'The L Word' Sex Scenes, Ranked

Last week marked 12 years since The L Word’s history-making premiere on Showtime. Let's face it, more than a decade after its premiere, the series, in all of its over-the-top glory and with all of its often-ridiculous storylines, remains an important benchmark in lesbian representation on television. Even with a proliferation of queer female characters on TV, the The L Word’s sex scenes remain forever etched in our memory -- for better or worse, and that gave us the idea to watch and rank all of the series' sex scenes.  For one thing, never before had lesbian sex been so unabashedly depicted on the small screen, so there’s some actual value in our decision to painstakingly chronicle all of the scenes. But mostly, we just thought it would be fun to relive all of the series’ sexy times – the good, the bad, and the ugly. And while we maintain that it was fun to revisit them, it took months so revisit, watch, chronicle, rank, and execute our definitive – not really, but it sounds good - ranking of “All 97 of The L Word Sex Scenes!”
We have a few notes before we dive into the rankings. First, we included only those sex scenes that involved at least one major character. We attempted, by and large, to include actual sex scenes, so you won’t see your favorite heavy petting, make-out, or foreplay scenes listed. Although, in cases where it was tough to tell just how far things had gotten in the actual world of the scene, we just included it. When it comes to sex scenes, more is more.
Regarding the rankings – it’s completely arbitrary. One person’s interpretation of what constitutes good sex differs vastly from another, which is why bad sex between two people exists in the world. Essentially, we ranked the ones we found the least sexy, pointless, creepy, sad, odd, or boring toward the lower end of the spectrum. Those that got the most bang for the buck ended up toward the top.
Finally, we fully concede to the L Word aficionados of the world that we may have missed a scene. Watching sex scenes for hours on end is hard, and there could have been a glitch in our process. Perhaps we were distracted by all of the nudity. If we missed or forgot your favorite scene we offer a collective mea culpa.
Now, on to the rankings! And please feel free to comment and share your favorite scenes with us!