7 Pride Experiences Only Femmes Can Relate To

7 Pride Experiences Only Femmes Can Relate To

Femme is more than a queer person with a feminine presentation. Yes, femmes know about makeup, and heels, and have the hottest outfits always, but being femme also (I'm about to go witchy on you) comes with a nurturing and healing energy that reminds me of a magical full moon.

Femmes are an integral part of the queer community, and they deserve to be celebrated, and celebrate, especially during Pride. But even the most magical mother femmes suffer some femme problems during Pride. Some of these are just a fun reason to whine (like getting glitter everywhere or looking too hot), but others are serious, like not being taken seriously. Read on for seven Pride experiences that only femmes can relate to!

1. Not knowing what to wear.

If there's one thing that femmes are fabulous at, it's fashion. Many reading this likely have a Pride Pinterest board (or maybe that's just me). As a proud bisexual femme, the number of sequined purple dresses I have bookmarked is absurd. Thankfully, Pride is a month long (truly it's all year if you're queer) so that means numerous and wondrous opportunities to show off your outfits. But choosing which one to wear to which event can be a struggle. 

2. Getting glitter everywhere.

They say that glitter is the herpes of crafts because you can never get rid of it—but during Pride, that's totally fine. We want everyone to catch our glitter. Many queer femmes enjoy glitter breakouts all year long, but during Pride, you have an excuse to go extra. That means glitter eyeshadow, glitter hair spray, obviously body glitter everywhere including on and around your genitals, and baggies of glitter that look like colorful cocaine. Glitter love is contagious! 

3. Being mistaken for straights.

Femme Pride problems aren't all glitter and looking too glamorous. Unfortunately, when you're femme, people often think you're straight. There's nothing wrong with being straight (God still loves you), but especially during Pride, femmes don't really want to be mistaken for one. Pride is about coming together with your queer community and celebrating a sexual orientation that is often marginalized. Experiencing prejudice from the heterosexual community sucks, but feeling unwanted by your own community is even more painful. So, when you see a femme, do not assume they're straight and just there for the show.  

4. Being hit on by straights.

The queer community appreciates the support of allies during Pride, and if you're a straight ally, you should absolutely show your support. However, if you're a drunk straight dude, and walk into a gay bar to be ironic or some shit, do not hit on a person just because they have a femme appearance and that turns you on. Stay home, because likely no one wants to fuck you.  

5. Melting makeup.

Oh my, David Bowie! You should have seen the rainbow eyeshadow I pulled off for Pride 2015 right after the Supreme Court ruling. It was perfect, and it paired perfectly with my wig. However, I was only at the parade for like 15 minutes before it melted all over my face in the hot New York City summer heat. Take selfies, because between the sun, sweat, and sucking face, your makeup will get ruined. 

6. Not being taken seriously.

Honestly, this one is a little painful to even write. Yes, when you're femme sometimes people think you're straight. But that's not even what's painful—it's the dismissive treatment often experienced during Pride by other queer people. Sometimes it's a bartender who doesn't want to serve you, sometimes it's just drunk bitches. I've literally been at a Pride event with my girlfriend, but because we were femmes, everyone assumed we were just friends and we felt so unseen. Let's remember that Pride is about acceptance and celebration, rather than judgment, especially based around a prescribed script for how a queer person should present themselves. Thank you, and thank you in advance for being welcoming of me this year.

7. The pain of dancing in heels.

Yeah, femmes can rock a pair of Converses, but during Pride wouldn't you rather be wearing some heels that are sparkly and maybe even rainbow, like the ones pictured above? Does anyone know who designed them? Can you Paypal me the info along with a few hundred bucks to buy them? Parties mean heels and dancing, which hurts, but whatever. Pain is beauty, but enjoying your enemy's look jealous over how hot you look is pure pleasure.