15 things all bottoms want tops to understand

Here's your PSA, tops.

Tops, consider this a PSA. We bottoms have been letting you get away with murder, simply because you’re in high demand. (A study I conducted in my basement has revealed that 99.9999% of gay men are bottoms.)

But it’s time you stepped up your game. Here are 15 things we want you to know.

Learn these things. Live by these rules. If you do, our panties will forever be down at our ankles.

It takes a while to get prepped

You may pretend like you're "okay" with whatever happens if the bottom makes a mess just because you're the top, but that doesn't mean you get to discredit the process it goes through to get cleaned out and prepared. Bottoms can't always just be "ready" at the drop of a hat, so lay off the pressure sometimes.

Don't be shy

You know what you want. I know what I want. If we both act coy and no one makes a move, nothing will ever happen. Don't be shy.

Don't expect us to be vers

Yes, we get it, versatile guys have a lot of fun, but that doesn't mean we're automatically versatile just because we know how to bottom. It's great if you like to bottom yourself, just don't try to force or pressure us into doing it for you.

Ask about limitations

Even during casual hook up sex and even if you're both into something kinky, communication is always key. Know your limits and your boundaries. If you don't already know what those are, ask. If you don't ask, respect them if they're given to you.

Don’t be lazy because you’re hung

We get it. You’re hung. Congratu-freakin-lations. You still have to put in the work. Don’t assume that because you have a big meat stick that you can just lay there. (Honestly, I often prefer guys with average penises or smaller penises because they feel they have something to prove, so they work their damn asses [or d*cks] off.) 

Don’t be lazy

You know what? Screw it. Regardless of penis size don’t be lazy. You should be ecstatic to be inside us. Act like it.

Great sex does not equal 30 minutes of being drilled

Switch up the speed, power, and angles. Yes, being power drilled does feel amazing. But if it’s the only thing that you do, it loses its novelty. The sensation fades away.

Use more lube

There’s no such thing as too much lube. Have a towel on the bed that you can wipe your hands with, but keep lubing up.

Warm us up

We know you get excited. We’re excited too. But you can’t just ram it in there. (Well, most of the time… Some bottoms are all reared up and ready to go. Good for them.)  But as for the rest of us, you need to lick, digitally penetrate and loosen us up before you go to pound town. 

Take control

It’s hot. Make us feel used. (In the good way, not the bad way.) 

If you finish early, the game isn’t over

Sometimes you ejaculate prematurely. Life happens. That doesn’t mean sex is over. Eat our butts or stick your fingers in us until you’re ready to go again. Sex isn’t over just because the top orgasms.

We want to orgasm too

Again, just because you finish doesn't mean that sex is done. We want to finish too, and we expect you to help us get there.

Flex your PC muscle while inside of us

Your pubococcygeus muscle, AKA PC muscle, is the muscle you flex when you’re doing kegels. It’s the same muscle you use when you cut your stream midway through peeing. Flexing your PC muscle causes your penis to “flex” and by that, I mean move, changing its angle.

When you do that while inside of us, it feels damn good. 

Just because you're on PrEP doesn’t mean we’re not wearing any condoms

We know PrEP works the vast majority of the time, but 1. We don’t know how well you adhere to your meds, and 2. we don’t want to acquire other STIs. Gonorrhea sucks. Taking antibiotics sucks. Please respect our decision to use a condom.

There are more positions than doggy style

Don’t get me wrong, doggy style feels divine. Simply amazing. But there are more positions that doggy. You don’t need to flip us around immediately, plow us for five minutes, in doggy, and then finish. There’s more to sex than that.