BuzzFeed LGBT recently published a video titled "I'm Gay But I'm Not," in which various gay men talk about the stereotypes they don't fit into. The video currently has over eight million views and 82,000 likes, but it isn't rubbing everyone the right way.
Several tweets responding to the video have gone viral, and the gay discourse ignited a heated conversation.
\u201c"I'm not a regular gay, I'm a cool gay"\u201d— Adam (@Adam) 1507879622
\u201c"I'm gay but I don't want to be seen as less of a man because I have stereotypically feminine interests so rather than fight the idea that feminine men are seen as less valuable than masculine men I'd rather just make it clear I'm not one of those feminine gays." https://t.co/qkmtoQ7OnP\u201d— Swimmingway (@Swimmingway) 1507909861
While the video's intention might have been to show that not all gay men fall in line with stereotypes, it ends up distancing the men from these cliched ideas of homosexuality and femininity and effectively deems themselves superior than.
\u201c@adamkanzen I think you've taken it the wrong way. The point is that gay people are diverse and you shouldn't pigeonhole us according to stereotypes\u201d— Adam (@Adam) 1507879622
\u201c@NarcoDreamer @adamkanzen No mama u took it the wrong way. If they wanted show diversity they could have had gays saying all the things they LIKE to do.\u201d— Adam (@Adam) 1507879622
\u201c@NarcoDreamer @adamkanzen This essentially perpetuates that all gay men are nothing more than the things these men dislike.\u201d— Adam (@Adam) 1507879622
\u201c@NarcoDreamer @adamkanzen And pretty much tells str8 ppl that men who like pop stars, gay tv shows, brunch, etc... are they gay men u should stay away from.\u201d— Adam (@Adam) 1507879622
\u201c@NarcoDreamer @adamkanzen But not these men in the video. Bc they\u2019re \u201cnormal\u201d so it\u2019s cool to socailize with them.\u201d— Adam (@Adam) 1507879622
\u201c@DannyyJ_ @NarcoDreamer @adamkanzen How about we stop trying to make str8 ppl more comfortable w us (which they never will be) and start becoming more comfortable w ourselves\u201d— Adam (@Adam) 1507879622
Preach Damita Jo!
The Facebook comments underneath the video are just as heated. One unknowing user detaield exactly what was wrong with the video, "I'm gay and I'm a right-winger. I don't like flamboyantly gay people because I think they create the stereotype I deeply feel like I have to fight against everyday." Other comments made sure to remind everyone that all kinds of gay are okay, "And to all you 'stereotypical' gay guys out there, you fucking rock and no, you aren't being 'too gay' or 'to flamboyant' by being yourself." While the video might not have meant to marginalize the people it was made for, giving a pass to demean some of the most vulnerable in the community isn't doing any of us any good.
In a Dear Abby-esqe reader response column on Grindr's INTO, JP Brammar outlined BuzzFeed's internalized homophobia flaw perfectly; "The problem is that you have chosen to frame your struggle as something that makes you superior to other gay people who do enjoy the things you have written off as shallow. You believe it sets you apart in a way that makes you better or more special."
And at the end of the day, we're all out here sucking d**k. Can't we all just get along?
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