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10 Amazing Piper Chapman Moments in Honor of Taylor Schilling's Birthday

10 Amazing Piper Chapman Moments in Honor of Taylor Schilling's Birthday

10 Amazing Piper Chapman Moments in Honor of Taylor Schilling's Birthday

Happy Piper Appreciation Day!

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It's Taylor Schilling's birthday, and we're definitely not going to miss the chance to celebrate such a happy occasion. No matter what your feelings on Piper Chapman might be, it's safe to say that Taylor Schilling's giving it her all in the best possible way, and without Piper we wouldn't even have Orange is the New Black, would we? And is that a world we want to live in? No, it is most certainly not. So let's raise a glass to Taylor Schilling and her portrayal of everyone's favorite panty-dealing, Alex-loving, sometimes terrible-choice-making inmate, Piper Chapman. Here are just a few moments that make us love her most!

 

10. Piper's Panty Speech 

This riveting (if maybe insanely dramatic) speech took Piper from inmate to business owner. Who could possibly have left the yard uninspired that day?

9. Every time she and Alex did this

And they did this a lot

8. Or this

Like, a lot a lot.

7. Every time she violently loses control

Piper in attack mode is not someone we'd ever want to encounter.

6. Her chicken-oriented determination

The chicken is real. The chicken is everything.

5. Her hate sex with Alex

Where seasons 1 and 2 featured a lot of cutesy sensual moments, season 3 featured a lot of this action. We're not complaining. 

4. Bitches gots to learn

Piper literally scared this girl out of committing crimes. She continues to scare us to this very day as well.

3. She's got music, but barely any rhythm, and certainly no man

'They lesbianing together,' according to Pennsatucky, even if Piper is actually bi. 

2. When she sanctioned a prison tattoo from a near stranger

'Trust no bitch' has never been more appropriate. Also, this was a good lesson in not letting anyone give you a "tattoo surprise."

1. And, of course, when she managed to leave flaming shit on Polly's doorstep via prison

When in doubt, brighten your own day by leaving flaming poop on the doorsteps of those who wronged you. Even prison bars couldn't stop Piper from that simple joy.

 

Happy birtday, Taylor Schilling! We love you!

 

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Preston Max Allen