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Where Are All the Bi Clubs?

Where Are All the Bi Clubs?

Where Are All the Bi Clubs?

Don’t get me wrong — I love gay clubs. But they are just that: gay clubs. Not queer clubs, not bi clubs, not pan clubs, not transgender clubs — gay clubs, more often than not for men (unless there’s a specific lesbian night). Both my ex-girlfriend (who is also bi) and I preferred going to gay clubs more than straight ones. We liked the music, the atmosphere, and the people at gay clubs more. We felt more comfortable there. Besides, we always went out with our crew of gay friends.

We’d all dance and have fun, and by the end of the night, I’d be dancing with my girlfriend. That’s when we hated gay clubs. We’d either get nasty looks for being that “straight” couple who comes to a gay safe space to flaunt their straightness, or confused looks, because they assumed I was gay.

Now I’m not going to launch into a tirade about how gay men need to be more accepting of bisexual men and women because I understand their frustration. We live in a heteronormative society, surrounded by straight men and women all day. One night a week, gay men want to be at a place with other men like them. Free to openly express themselves without judgment (well, God knows the gays will judge—but you know what I mean) and briefly escape from the oppressive heteronormativity they experience daily.

I’ve also been at gay clubs when a horde of straight women gallivants in for a bachelorette party, acting like they own the joint. They get hammered and treat the men at the club like circus animals, there for their amusement.

So I’m not going to shame gay men for giving me and my girlfriend looks because I understand where they’re coming from. Instead I offer another solution: bisexual/pansexual clubs. I don’t mean sex parties or anything like that. Those already exist and are not for meeting people. I mean a place where people interested either romantically and/or sexually in men and women can go. A safe space where men and women don’t feel judged for being attracted to more than one gender.

I know I just want a place like this because I’m newly single, but I honestly don’t see why this doesn’t exist. And if not an entire club because the demand simply isn’t that high, why not a night once a week? Bi night. They can play *NSYNC's Bye Bye Bye on repeat. (Okay, for the love of God, don’t do that.) Try to find me a bi person who wouldn’t be interested in that.

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