It looks as though the media has decided that Lindsay Lohan’s “stint” as a lesbian is officially over. Despite the fact that Hollywood is one of the biggest closets in America (with Washington, D.C. as a close second, see: Outrage), the tabloids and even a few reputable news sources remain surprisingly committed to keeping the gay out of L.A.
Evidently, a woman cannot be feminine and a lesbian, at least not longer than it would take people to accept it. No matter that she was seen crying and devastated over ex-girlfriend Samantha Ronson on Ellen and has been talking about how much she loves the girl for months, the news outlets have decided that with this recent breakup, the time is ripe to “catch” her with a guy. And catch her they have (or so they say), with two different men in fact, over the span of two days! Wow that seems plausible doesn’t it?
The first man, according to this gem of a website, is male model Petey Wright, whom she met at a photo shoot at the Chateau Marmont in West Hollywood on October 28th. The site, appropriately named “Spreadit.org” said:
“Dating Samantha Ronson is so 2000 and late. Lindsay Lohan tried the lesbian thing for few months and now she is back with men again. The actress was seen getting down dirty with model Petey Wright last night at the Chateau Marmont in Hollywood. Lindsay Lohan is back to her old self."
Aside from the many, many things wrong with this statement, Lindsay’s relationship with Samantha actually fixed a lot of the problems (drinking, drug abuse, etc.) that plagued Lohan’s “old self.” But apparently that does not matter anymore. Sources (i.e. people with nothing better to do than gossip about Lohan to make a quick buck) say Lindsay was “all over Petey” during the photo shoot and that they saw the two “lovebirds” kissing in the corner of the club. Aside from the nebulous possibility that this “source” was at the photoshoot and the club, keep in mind that Lindsay and Petey met that day. Funny that no pictures exist. The last time Lindsay was seen kissing someone in a club, there was some undeniable proof to back that up.
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Next thing we know, Lindsay is taking her new “boyfriend” to Morocco. This was a headline that appeared on the totally reliable site X17Online.com. And how do they know about this?
“Celeb columnist for the Sunday Mirror, Dean Piper, also at the hotel,tweeted, "Lindsay Lohan's here with her boyfriend at the Mazagan in Morocco. He's hot. And they look happy!”
As it turns out, Dean Piper’s little tweet was frightfully wrong. However, X17 couldn’t take no for an answer without getting in some last barbs with this photo:
After everyone got their heads out of the ground and realized that she was not, in fact, in Morocco with Mr. Wright (pun intended), the reporters did some quick damage control trying to link her with the nearest guy, in this case Gerard Butler. Yeah, the 39-year-old, scruffy Scottish actor from 300. Of course MTV.com has all the answers, but what’s strange is, their “quote” from Lindsay regarding Butler (“he’s hot, he’s mine” etc.) sourced from the paper that started this whole mess, The British Daily Mirror, is what X17 claimed she said about Petey.
This is starting to make about as much sense as the people who claim that not allowing a child’s parents to marry will help the child. Come to think of it, those are exactly the kind of people who would instantly believe rumors that Lohan went back to men. I’d be frightened to meet the intended demographic of these gossip papers.
Meanwhile, the only thing that was actually happening to Lindsay in Morocco was an incident involving a man with a sick sense of humor. She instantly told all of Twitter about this:
“Umm-OMFG! I was walking ahead of Patrick with the security guard&some guy was following me, then pulled up in his car&pointed a GUN at me!
Was on the phone w/my mum&i screamed and ducked&the guy started laughing&pushed the trigger was a fake gun..I was crying..he scared me :(“
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Notice also that she was with her platonic friend Patrick, not Gerard Butler or Petey Wright.
Once she recovered from her scare, she found out about all the crazy man-hookup rumors and was back on Twitter again:
@aangel76 the rumors are false
@tothbea it's amazing, one minute i'm dumped, the next i'm dating a model, now gerard? WHO HAS THE TIME! such lies -it keeps me laughing :)
All of this speaks to a troubling undercurrent in our country. The media’s obsession with proving Lohan “straight” is personally irritating for me, who, as a feminine lesbian, is constantly in the position of defending my sexuality to strangers who think they know me better than I know myself.
I would also like to point out to the American media that just because Lindsay and Samantha “split” last summer, this is no proof that they are over. Anyone who knows anything about lesbian breakups is aware that they can last for months with on-again, off-again drama. The question we should be asking ourselves is, why is everyone in America obsessed with Lohan’s sexuality and why is the possibility that she could be a lifelong lesbian so scary? And on top of that, these gossipers also left out the possibility that Lindsay could be a real, live bisexual, imagine that! Either way, it would suck to have your gender preferences blasted incorrectly all over the world while you are still trying to figure it out for yourself. Lindsay, I feel for you girl.
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