12 Thoughts You Have When Someone Snapchats You a DP

Whether we like it or not, dick pics (DP) are becoming the new handshake among gay and bisexual men. But not all pics are equal, and some elicit completely unexpected responses. Here are some common thoughts we've all had after opening a DP on Snapchat.

1. Why did you send this?

What made you think that I wanted to see your thing? Did you really need to send me a pic with the caption “This is” when I asked “What’s up?” 

2. There’s no way it’s that big. 

Is it the angle? The lighting? Facetune? That can’t be real. 

3. Come on, don’t ruin this. I kinda liked you. 

Slow down, buddy!

4. *Cocks head*

What is that? Is that your …? Wait, seriously what is that?

5. Shave or at least trim. 

Take a weedwacker to that forrest and get back to me. 

6. Liar.

You said 9 INCHES not centimeters. Put a water bottle next to it for reference.

7. You said you were exclusively a bottom.

Cool. So can you twerk?

8. That’s a lot of spunk. 

It’s everywhere. Wipe it off or something. 

9. Do you do kegels? 

No? Then why are there so many ... veins?

10. It’s perfect.

Not too firm. Not to soft. It's just right. 

11. That thing is bizarrely thick.
Yes. Yes, it is.

12. Yeah. Those are ridiculously large balls.

I'm sorry. I can't take you seriously.