Even though, deep down, I’ve always felt like a fierce queen, I’ve never embodied one fully. That’s mostly because I’ve never truly dressed like royalty. My wardrobe of black skinny jeans and bright crop tops makes me feel fabulously queer and femme, but there’s always been something missing.
That’s why my interest piqued when I discovered EyeHunee, a fashion brand that sells a wide array of crowns. I first stumbled on them through a guilty pleasure thirst trap I follow on Instagram (@omgitsalphie). In his profile picture at the time, I noticed Alphie was wearing a crown, which works perfectly for him considering his bio says that he’s the King of Miami (followed by a crown emoji).
Since I wanted nothing more than to be the queen to his king, I decided I’d try out wearing a crown. (This man has absolutely no idea who I am, but what thirsty gay doesn’t fantasize about marrying his Insta crush??) So I contacted EyeHunee, got some colorful crowns, and began sauntering around Brooklyn and Manhattan wearing a different crown every day for a week. A ~lady~ of my stature doesn’t just want to feel like a queen in the evenings, she wants to feel majestic while walking down the trash-littered streets of New York.
My first day I kept it simple, wearing an all-black leather crown. I didn’t want to start off with something too gaudy or out of my comfort zone, and to be honest, outside of queer spaces, I wasn’t sure if I would look like a fashion d-bag. You know the type. The queens who walk around the city wearing the most outlandish accessories they can find, not because they’re fashionable, but because they’re over-the-top.
Immediately, I noticed I stood up taller and my posture was more erect. I’m 6'4" and I often do what I like to call "the friendly giant" when talking to people. (I basically slouch so I can be closer to someone and on their level.) I sometimes feel awkward towering over people, and if it’s loud (like at a bar) I have to bend down to hear what people are saying. But something about wearing a crown just naturally makes you stand up straighter. You know those old movies where debutante instructors forced young women to practice walking while balancing books on their head? I don’t know if that was ever actually done or if it’s just a myth, but walking around with a crown on your head definitely forces you to stand up straight.
But on my third day, any reservation I had was gone, and my confidence was through the roof. I did a Google search to see if I’m absolutely crazy or if this is a real thing, and I stumbled on a piece in the New York Times that discussed how changing one’s posture can actually increase hormones, decrease stress, and increase confidence.
In the article, entitled "The Right Stance Can be Reassuring," the author Kate Murphy writes:
"A flurry of social-science research over the last three years indicates such expansive postures release a flood of hormones that make you feel more positive and at ease, even if you were a quivering mess of self-doubt beforehand. Striking a commanding pose, whether you are in a sparkling gown or frayed jeans, can change how you perceive yourself, which ultimately influences how you are perceived by others."
While wearing this crown my posture increased, and so too, did my confidence. Having strangers stop me on the street to tell me how much they loved my crown and/or "look" didn’t hurt either. There a few things in the world better than being stopped in a New York City street by someone with incredible fashionable sense complimenting your fashion.
My final day of wearing crowns landed on a Friday. Needless to say, I went out that night to watch a live viewing of All Stars 4. I put on the "Strawberry Short Cake" crown (which looks like a birthday cake) along with some skinny jeans that showed off my very own (very tiny) slice of cake. Not only were a number of jokes made about butts and "eating cake" (because obviously), but it was also the perfect peacocking accessory. Never in my life had I had more guys hit on me. It allows for such an easy opener for guys who would otherwise not know what to say.
I must of had a half dozen guys start a conversation with me by saying, "I love your crown." As someone who likes being picked up, as opposed to picking up another guy, it was an absolutely perfect experience.
Oh, and I got laid that night.
While I can’t claim the crown was 100% the reason I got laid, I can say that the man I slept with did introduce himself to me because of the crown, so it’s at least partially responsible.
Now that my week of crown wearing has come to an end, will I continue donning a crown around the city every day? No, because let’s be real, that’s a lot, and I’m not sure I want to be known as "the crown guy." But when I need a bit of confidence, want to grab some compliments, or am trying to get laid, will I pop one of those suckers on my head to feel like goddamn royalty?
In the words of the one and only Gia Gunn, absolutely.
Check out all of EyeHunee’s crowns on their official website here!
Photography by Adam Smith