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Ok, sure, guys are nice to look at. They can take you on dates. They can be taken on dates. They can sleep over. They can Netflix and chill. Some of the good ones can cook, hold down jobs and call their mothers.
But cats? Cats will always be better.
1. Cats don't hide their disdain for you
Guys will pretend to like you, but few of them have the balls to admit when they're over you. Cats? They DGAF. If they dislike you, the slimy hairball in your bed will prove it.
2. Cats don't make you feel more important than you are
Guys can make you feel all sorts of warm fuzzies, even if it's all a lie. But a cat won't play that game. You exist to feed them and clean their litter box. And they don't try to make you believe otherwise.
3. Cats aren't afraid to ask for what they want
Guys will hide their true desires under layers and layers of bullshit. But a cat? If they want you to pet them, they'll sit on your hands until you do. If they want you to leave them the eff alone? You'll get a claw across the jaw.
4. Cats have no problem judging you
Guy: "Oh, that's cool, I sometimes drink wine on a Wednesday night by myself, too!"
Cat: "Gurl, I see you eyeing that second bottle. No wonder you're still single, writing articles about me, you drunk-ass loser."
5. Cats shit in a designated area
And it's not on your heart. Because they love you so damn much.
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