10 Hilarious Thoughts All Gay And Bi Men Have At The Gym

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Bubble butts are squatting low, biceps are bulging, and chests are popping.  The grunts and moans of men hard at work are ringing in your ears. The strangely erotic scent of sweat lingers in the air. Your senses are overloaded, and you can’t help but think of a *few* things.

1. Is he into dudes?     

The mystery can be fun, but sometimes, it would be nice to just know. Why can’t he wear a shirt that says "LIKES MEN"?

2. Is he checking me out or sizing me up? 

He’s definitely been staring at you for the past 10 seconds. You were grunting ridiculously loudly to get his attention. It freakin’ worked. Now what? Is he looking to see if you lift more than he does, or is he looking at ... you? 

3. Does it matter? 

He has to be at least somewhat interested if he’s looking at you for that long.
         
4. Will he spot me if I ask? 

That’s a completely normal question to ask. Then why do you feel so nervous? 

5. Why isn’t he into dudes? 

It’s just not fair. He smiles at you. He makes a point to say hello to you first. And he always wants to spot you and only you.  His muscles are breaking through his Under Armour. Every time you look at him, you can’t help but think what you’re going to wear to your wedding. 

6. He’s at least down to experiment 

He MUST be. He’s clearly into the male form. You’re clearly into the male form…

7. Could he bench press me? 

You only weigh 170, and he’s easily putting back 225. It couldn’t be that hard for him.

8. Is that weird to ask? 

Okay. Yes. It is definitely weird to ask him to lift you up over his head like a metal bar. Good, glad you thought that one through before opening your mouth.

9. Never stop flexing 

In any other context you would judge him HARD for his nonstop flexing in the mirror. Not in here. Please, son of Zeus or whoever you are, don’t stop checking yourself out.

10. Can I sneak a peek? 

You’ve been politely averting your gaze, but at some point, it’s got to be acceptable to see what he’s working with, right? He’s been strutting back and forth for 20 minutes now—just letting it all hang out. Why is he so naked? What is he even doing? Well now he’s just showing off.