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It can be tough to tell if you’re actually in love or if you’re forcing it. Sometimes we so desperately want to be in love, we delude ourselves into thinking we’re in love with the guy who lives next door, even though we know deep down it would never work in a million years.
Maybe you're not forcing your love that way, but it's more like this. You’re dating a nice guy you have amazing sex with. Even though he’s great and the sex is awesome, you shouldn’t necessarily date him. It’s ridiculous how long a relationship can last when the sex is great, but there isn’t much else there. And then, after a few months, when you discover there isn’t much more to him than a great booty, you realize you need to break things off.
So the questions become: Are you in love with him? Are you lusting after him? Or are you lusting for the love you want with him?
It's tough to know for sure, but here are some tips to help guide you.
When it's lust:
If the only thing you can think about are his looks.
When you just want to hook up with him.
When you think of him he's wearing little, if any, clothing.
When it's love:
If you can't stop thinking about spending the day together.
When you want to kiss him more than sleep with him.
When you can't get enough of his smile.
When you're lusting for love:
If you're thinking about marriage when it's been one date.
If you're imagining how your kids will look.
If you find yourself falling in love with multiple men on a daily basis.
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Zachary Zane
Zachary Zane is a writer, YouTube influencer, and activist whose work focuses on (bi)sexuality, gender, dating, relationships, and identity politics. Check out his YouTube channel here.
Zachary Zane is a writer, YouTube influencer, and activist whose work focuses on (bi)sexuality, gender, dating, relationships, and identity politics. Check out his YouTube channel here.