Chess just became interesting after a conspiracy theory went viral suggesting a surprise win involved cheating through the use of anal beads.
Grandmaster Magnus Carlsen had been on a winning streak when he was unexpectedly defeated by the lowest-ranking player at a recent major tournament. He pulled out of the remainder of the competition and shared a tweet that was interpreted by many as an accusation that his opponent cheated.
\u201cI've withdrawn from the tournament. I've always enjoyed playing in the @STLChessClub, and hope to be back in the future https://t.co/YFSpl8er3u\u201d— Magnus Carlsen (@Magnus Carlsen) 1662400823
The opponent in question was 19-year-old Hans Niemann. The cheating theories that followed mostly revolved around the use of an AI to predict the best next move, although measures were in place to make sure only approved radio frequencies were transmitted from the tournament, and there was a 15-minute delay in the broadcast.
Still, suggestions that wireless anal beads could have beat these measures and transmitted AI-driven suggestions for the next move from a friend watching at home soon exploded across the corners of the internet interested in chess.
\u201cCurrently obsessed with the notion that Hans Niemann has been cheating at the Sinquefield Cup chess tournament using wireless anal beads that vibrate him the correct moves.\u201d— Babble (@Babble) 1662541294
This outrageous theory became so popular that it soon made its way onto more mainstream social media and news sites.
\u201cSure maybe the Real Housewives have drama, but the chess world is currently rocked by a scandal over the best player in human history losing an important game to a dude who *may* have been using anal beads to receive computer advice. Your move, Bravo\u201d— T.J. Chambers (@T.J. Chambers) 1663093439
\u201cThe internet is fucking crazy. A drama breaks out, and within 72 hours there are theories ranging from "his team has a snitch" to "he is using vibrating anal beads to cheat at chess"\u201d— GothamChess (@GothamChess) 1662688623
\u201cI don\u2019t need to know if the anal beads chess cheating scandal is real or not. The fact it can even be possible is enough for me to love it\u201d— arabelle sicardi \u82f1\u6885 (@arabelle sicardi \u82f1\u6885) 1663180029
\u201cI, personally, would like to see a chess league where EVERYONE is using wireless anal beads to communicate\u201d— doctor of phagonomics (@doctor of phagonomics) 1663204720
At one point, the theory even got turned on its head, suggesting that Carlsen has been using the anal beads technique for a decade and that Neimann stole it. Alas, their signals were supposedly getting crossed constantly.
\u201cChess enthusiasts online have since gone on to speculate that Niemann may have been cheating with computer assistance and anal beads.\u201d— Metro (@Metro) 1663148150
Obviously, the whole thing is a truly wild conspiracy theory – albeit one that might have actual consequences, as Neimann’s reputation is being dragged through the mud despite no actual proof that he cheated.
“If they want me to strip fully naked, I will do it,” he said in response to the allegations. “I don’t care. Because I know I am clean. You want me to play in a closed box with zero electronic transmission, I don’t care. I’m here to win and that is my goal regardless.”
If nothing else, this whole thing is certainly giving people ideas as to how to put an unexpected twist on a game of chess. But maybe only try this one at home.
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