Where to begin with this one...
Are you a man? Do you avoid eating bananas in public so no one gets the wrong idea? Do you use five-in-one shampoo? When you're in a hot tub, do you sit five feet apart from your bro because you're not gay? Do you want to wear makeup but don't just want to order it online in a discreet package like a normal person who's ashamed of who they are?
Well, we've got just the brand for you!
War Paint, the new, very manly and apparently in high-demand makeup brand is here for all the dudes out there who don't want want to be clocked sporting just a bit of CoverGirl concealer under their eyes (for the bags).
Coming in a total of five concealer shades (fair, light, tan, medium, and dark), this brand wants white guys with back tattoos of their mothers to know that their "naturally tougher" skin and "bigger pores" are now being catered to.
“The skin on a man’s face is 25% thicker than a woman’s, men’s skin also has bigger pores and a lot more of them which produces more sebum than a woman," reads War Paint's website. "The difference in men’s skin to woman’s skin is caused by hormones, specifically testosterone. […] Seeing as men have a whole shedload of testosterone, their skin is both thicker and oilier than women’s. This means that as a man you may be more likely to get spots and blackheads.”
A "shedload." I don't even quite know what to say about that description. It is vegan and cruelty-free though!
Anyway, the internet is roasting the shit out of the misguided idea that men don't already wear makeup—and that it's only okay for them to if it's packaging is more masc than Chuck Norris.
