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Makeup 'for Men' Is Here—and Yes, It's as Dumb as It Sounds
The internet is roasting War Paint, a.k.a. "makeup for men."
Where to begin with this one...
Are you a man? Do you avoid eating bananas in public so no one gets the wrong idea? Do you use five-in-one shampoo? When you're in a hot tub, do you sit five feet apart from your bro because you're not gay? Do you want to wear makeup but don't just want to order it online in a discreet package like a normal person who's ashamed of who they are?
Well, we've got just the brand for you!
War Paint, the new, very manly and apparently in high-demand makeup brand is here for all the dudes out there who don't want want to be clocked sporting just a bit of CoverGirl concealer under their eyes (for the bags).
Coming in a total of five concealer shades (fair, light, tan, medium, and dark), this brand wants white guys with back tattoos of their mothers to know that their "naturally tougher" skin and "bigger pores" are now being catered to.
“The skin on a man’s face is 25% thicker than a woman’s, men’s skin also has bigger pores and a lot more of them which produces more sebum than a woman," reads War Paint's website. "The difference in men’s skin to woman’s skin is caused by hormones, specifically testosterone. […] Seeing as men have a whole shedload of testosterone, their skin is both thicker and oilier than women’s. This means that as a man you may be more likely to get spots and blackheads.”
A "shedload." I don't even quite know what to say about that description. It is vegan and cruelty-free though!
Anyway, the internet is roasting the shit out of the misguided idea that men don't already wear makeup—and that it's only okay for them to if it's packaging is more masc than Chuck Norris.
\u201c"Our aim is to allow makeup to be gender neutral, which is why we used a potent mix of cultural appropriation and militarization to brand our product as expressly for men's tough skin"\u201d— andi zeisler (@andi zeisler) 1557360864
\u201c@andizeisler @yashar Not mascara. EYELASH ARMOR\u201d— Susan Bernstein (@Susan Bernstein) 1557364613
\u201c@warpaintmufm\u201d— GenieGene (@GenieGene) 1557411217
\u201c@warpaintmufm There's already makeup for men.\nIt's the same as makeup for women.\u201d— A Shiny Blue Thing Collected By a Bird (@A Shiny Blue Thing Collected By a Bird) 1557346096
\u201c@warpaintmufm In addition to the other problematic issues people have raised: you decided the best way to market to men was to use the language of violence?\u201d— Kyle \ud83c\udf31 (@Kyle \ud83c\udf31) 1557362701
\u201c@warpaintmufm Who\u2019s your market? By the ad you want straight girls and gays to watch, but boring packaging and \u201cfor men\u201d suggest you want straight men scared of Sephora. I guess what I\u2019m asking is, what\u2019s this models @ ?\u201d— Stephanie Michelle (@Stephanie Michelle) 1557352680
\u201c@5_Lifes_Left @warpaintmufm The skull ring at the end, I-\u201d— \ud83c\udf3eGrillxguerrillx\ud83c\udf3e (@\ud83c\udf3eGrillxguerrillx\ud83c\udf3e) 1557363246
\u201c@PaulMartin703 @warpaintmufm @bretmanrock @gabrielzamora Girl I... \ud83e\udd26\ud83c\udffb\u200d\u2642\ufe0f\u201d— Paul Martin (@Paul Martin) 1557423181
Taylor Henderson is a PRIDE.com contributor. This proud Texas Bama studied Media Production/Studies and Sociology at The University of Texas at Austin, where he developed his passions for pop culture, writing, and videography. He's absolutely obsessed with Beyoncé, mangoes, and cheesy YA novels that allow him to vicariously experience the teen years he spent in the closet. He's also writing one!
Taylor Henderson is a PRIDE.com contributor. This proud Texas Bama studied Media Production/Studies and Sociology at The University of Texas at Austin, where he developed his passions for pop culture, writing, and videography. He's absolutely obsessed with Beyoncé, mangoes, and cheesy YA novels that allow him to vicariously experience the teen years he spent in the closet. He's also writing one!
