Using a Strap-On Made Me Question My Identity as a Transgender Woman

Welcome to PRIDE's LGBT entertainment podcast, WerQ!

Join editor-in-chief Raffy Ermac and culture writer Taylor Henderson as we chat with Pride Media's own Video Producer, Jessie Gender!

Can transgender women use strap-ons? Jessie shares a story from her recent sexcapades that lead her to question her identity.

There was one point when I asked my girlfriend, 'Would you feel comofrtable if I used a strap-on with you?'

She said yes, but she was very overly concerned about me being, since I'm a trans woman, she's like, 'I don't want to make you do anything you're uncomofortable with.'

I started to think about it and realized that I wasn't really bothered by the fact that I would have to use a strap on. Body disphoria is a very common thing a lot of transgender people experience. The tendency with trans people going from male to female is if you have a penis and don't feel comfortable with having a penis, you don't like to use a penis in any sexual situation. I actually did feel that much did feel that, very much so when I had a penis. I'm post surgery.

But talking to her about it in that situation, I started to realize I have no qualms in using a strap on, which could theoretically bring back a lot of the emotional things I was going through when I did have a penis. It's sort of making me realize that I'm okay with it because I feel very confident in who I am and my identity, which wasn't always the case. I've been trying to figure out what it means to be trans now that I've sort of finished transitioning.  

I don't have any major steps to go through anymore. I'm sort of where I want to be. What does that mean for me as a trans person? What is inherently trans when you're not transitioning?

After a heartfelt and vulnerable conversation about identity, Raffy, Taylor, and Jessie also give some words of wisdom to their younger selves and things get E*MO*TION*AL.

Raffy's weekly obsession: 

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Jesse's weekly obsession:

Check out Jessie Gender's pop culture video series Nerd Out, follow Raffy and Taylor on Twitter, and subscribe to the podcast on iTunes and SoundCloud!