Sure, Sunday might have been the Oscars, but Monday was what we really should have all been looking forward to! That’s right, we got a new Fosters, and there’s only two more until the Spring finale so treasure every moment!
Lena talks to Callie again about the Mystery of the Missing Kindles at the photo shoot. Callie’s worried that Daphne, who is almost 18, will get sent to prison for this Lena tells her they still have to fill out a police report, but if Daphne’s innocent she’ll have nothing to hide (yeah, like that’s how the law always works out). But the real issue of the hour is the e-break up Jesus is planning for Lexi so he can go date the super adorable Emma. He finally sends a lovely little thought out note to seal the deal before being called down to breakfast.
Not much could be more awkward than e-breaking up with your girlfriend, right? LIES! Turns out Lexi has surprised him from Honduras in a scene so uncomfortable I almost had to run out and tell my room mate how uncomfortable it was, before remembering people who don’t watch this show might not particularly care. And yet we care so much! Cue the credits!
Even though Stef and Lena have a pretty strict ‘no sex’ in the house police, Lexi’s crazy cuddly and oddly open about all the private time they’re going to have. She forgets her phone when she leaves the room (thank god), and Jesus is able to delete the email before she gets back. Crisis averted! (Lol, as if crises are ever averted on The Fosters.)
Dani (Mike's girlfriend) spends this entire episode trying to have heart-to-hearts with Brandon, and tell him he needs to get rid of the fake ID. After he leaves, Dani suggests she move in and, even though Mike thinks it might be too soon, Dani (and her ominous hidden agenda) believes she knows it’s right and doesn’t want to waste any more time.
At school, Jesus tells Emma that he tried to break up with Lexi, but clearly there were some issues there. Enter Lexi, and though Emma tries to play nice she ends up slamming her hand in her locker door. Guess who’s finger is broken and can’t participate in the big wrestling match today? That means Jesus is off the bench and on the mat! Mariana introduces Lexi to Zach, and immediately Lexi knows Mariana *like* likes him (also, don’t worry Zach, I’m on team Mariana too). Mariana finally clues and realizes she does want to be more than friends. At least I’m 98% sure that’s what this facial expression says.
Brandon chews out Vico for stealing the Kindles, but Vico tells him the Kindles were returned and Brandon will get the $900 he owes Mike. Vico, who’s not incredibly into morally appropriate behavior, suggests Brandon keep making IDs to make money, but Brandon says he’s done. From a far-off corner, Callie watches the conversation and knows something’s up. She confronts Vico and goes undercover to get him to tell her a little about the fake ID deals by pretending she wants in herself.
He snaps her photo, then shows it to Brandon to threaten him into continuing on with the business. Brandon, genuinely believing Callie wanted an ID, confronts her. She just ends up railing at him about his bad behavior and lies. It ends in a very dramatic delivery of, “I don’t even know who you are anymore,” so we know that didn’t go well. Feeling guilty, Brandon decides to tell Vico’s partner an ID got confiscated and they can’t sell them anymore. He says he’ll pay the guy off, but Brandon’s track record with this isn’t exactly 100%.
Lena and Stef talk Callie and Jude about where they are in the adoption process. Lena also mentions the kindles were returned last night, so Daphne is in the clear. Back to the issue at hand, Stef and Lena inform the kids that their father has to sign away parental rights before they can complete the adoption. Jude thinks their father is still in prison, but Callie finally tells him that their father has been out of prison for a year.
Jude’s upset with her for not telling him and storms off. Stef uses this interaction as an excuse to talk about wanting an anonymous donor, but Lena tells her that Timothy is interested. Stef’s angry Lena didn’t tell her sooner and storms off as well. There really is a lot of storming with this family.
Callie texts Daphne that the Kindles have been returned, but gets no response. Stef and Lena think it’s suspicious that the Kindles were returned right after Callie told Daphne. They also tell her that she has to stop keeping close company with Daphne and Kiara because the school’s principal has to fill out progress reports at school and her friends give off a bad impression. Callie makes a point that the “privileged” kids at school are probably the ones who stole from it while her friends have been innocent. Somehow Callie continues to be the wisest teen in high school.
It’s time for the big wresting match! Jesus, who started wrestling because he was trying to go off his medication, takes two of his pills before the match (right in front of everyone, which is an odd way to be discreet). During a non-Jesus match, Zach and Mariana try to figure out how wrestling works while Lexi tries to advise on flirting. Timothy shows up to the match as well, and after some plugging from Lena Stef seems to start making some peace with the possible sperm donation.
It’s finally Jesus’ turn to wrestle, and I don’t know how wrestling works but he’s apparently not doing well. His vision is blurry and he’s in a totally weird daze, but after a time out he’s back on his feet and wins the match! And his team wins!
Lexi takes a picture of his victory and tries to email it to her parents, but her mailbox is full and she needs to clean out some deleted messages Ruh roh! For the record, I feel like I probably have gotten more emails in my life than Lexi and my phone has never told me this.
Of course she sees Jesus’ break up message, and her furious attention immediately turns to Emma. After the match, Lexi’s dismissive of Jesus, even though he’s still conflicted about whether he wants to actually break up with her now that he has a second chance. When he approaches Emma, she tells him she knows he’s not going to break up with Lexi. “I really like you, but I love Lexi,” Jesus tells her, and while she seems sweet and understanding, it clear she’s probably crushed inside.
Zach tries to book it after the match, but Mariana tries to flirt again to keep him there. Zach asks if they’re on a date, and when she tells him it can be a date if he wants he makes a joke about the pocket-panty incident. Mariana nearly storms off because she is a Foster and that’s what they do, but he kisses her and it’s adorably cute and everyone’s so happy! For 5 seconds that is, because then his mysteriously protective and urgent mom shows up and whisks him away.
Brandon tells Callie that he’s out of the ID business, as well as the truth about the money originally being for her. He skips the part bribing Mariana and Jesus’ mom, but at least he got somewhere. When Vico finds out about Brandon’s betrayal, he almost attacks him, but then turns his sights on a better revenge - getting Callie’s fake ID made using the picture she took earlier. Like this girl needs more legal drama, geez.
Jesus and Lexi are just about to have sex when she confesses that she kissed a guy in Honduras. She sobs to him that maybe it’s just too hard to wait and that they need to break up.
But wait! As Lexi packs to cut her vacation short, Mariana asks if there really is a boy in Honduras. “There will be,” Lexi tells her. So sad, but now Jesus and Emma can be happy! (Spoilers: they probably won’t be happy)
Brandon’s brooding at home is interrupted by Dani, who asks if there’s anything she can do to help. Brandon actually divulges in her and tells her that he owes his dad $900. She talks him in to telling Mike that he’d taken it, but Brandon doesn’t tell Mike where the actual money went. He does hand him back a stack of bills, which I’m guessing Dani has something to do with. Dani uses this whole thing to convince Mike that Brandon should keep living with them before he makes another bad decision. She thinks he’s disoriented cause of all the siblings that were imposed upon him randomly and that the alone time could be good for him. Oh Dani, what is your creepy agenda?
That night, Zach shows up tells Mariana that he thinks they should just be friends because he “doesn’t have time for a girlfriend.” Why?!?! What did your mother say?! What’s going on, Zach, this is terrible! In more serious news, Stef and Lena tell the kids the adoption lawyer found their father. He’s agreed to sign away his parental rights, but they have an opportunity to see him first. Jude wants to, and Callie doesn’t. When the kids are gone, Stef and Lena discuss that even though they have all these children now, they’re eventually going to go off to college and the nest will be empty. Stef suggests that she and Lena and Timothy get together and talk seriously about getting pregnant, and then the two start making out/getting as close to a full-out sex scene as ABC Family could achieve.
But don’t expect too happy of an ending. To cap off the night, Callie shows up at her father’s door. Cue the drama, and the painful wait for next week.
