From ‘9-1-1’ to Slaying ‘You’, Bryan Safi Is Ready for Hollywood

“I love your background!” Bryan Safi greets me cheerfully after appearing on the Zoom screen. The background in question is a promo picture for season 3 of the hit Netflix horror series, You that Safi will star in for season 3. Joe (Penn Badgely) and Love (Victoria Pedretti) stand stoically in front of a sweet suburban home complete with a white picket fence. With the positioning, I appear right in the middle of their terrorizing little family. 

“I usually do a whole collage of your projects, but I was like, is he gonna want to look at his face the entire time?” Safi raises a knowing eyebrow and begins to smirk as I rush to add, “I mean, I know I would, but-” He laughs, 

“You know I would too!” It’s remarkable because the agreement wasn’t said with vanity, but instead camaraderie. Which is the success of Bryan Safi, you instantly believe he’s on your side. The first time I saw him was on an episode of Gay of Thrones, an aftershow for HBO’s Game of Thrones but with a gay perspective, hosted by celebrity hairstylist Jonathan Van Ness (now of Queer Eye fame). Van Ness invited comedians and actors to sit in the chair while he spruces up their ‘do. 

I didn’t know who he was at the time, but halfway into the recap he and Jonathan started talking emphatically about figure skating and at the end, Safi says, “I don’t watch the show, but I had a fabulous time!” I laughed and wondered who was this man? There was something relatable and approachable about him that made me want to tune in for more. 

It’s an interesting bit of irony that Safi’s humor is so inviting and inclusive when he was told he’d never make it being who he was. 

“A big message from my parents was, ‘We know you want to be in show business and you won’t succeed if you’re gay. You can’t come out or you’ll have no career.’” This seems like a wild claim, especially in today’s more liberal-leaning landscape. But to a young boy growing up in a conservative Christian home in El Paso, TX, it felt like the truth. Thankfully, Safi had more than a little resilience born into him. “It almost felt like a dare. Instead of trying to shy away from who I was, I doubled down on it, I decided to make a career out of being gay. I knew how I was not going to succeed, and that was by living dishonestly.”

Growing up in a conservative Christian community myself, I find there’s always a moment of realization. One where your ideals don’t exactly line up with the church community’s and for once you realize you may not be the one who’s wrong. Safi’s came around the Prop 8 election in 2008. 

“I’d become really active in that campaign and I was volunteering all day, all night, I was so stoked for it! Being around people who were politically minded, but also in that subset where marriage was legal, but then it wasn’t and all of that confusion, I think people were gaining strength about, ‘What do I stand for?’, ‘What do I want?’, and ‘What is fair?’. I was able to clearly see, I do want what’s fair and I am entitled to things that other people get, including a career.”

Throwing caution to the wind, Safi decided that if he wasn’t going to be accepted for being gay, he was going to do what he wanted his way and figure out ways to create his own opportunities.  After a stint at LA’s Upright Citizen’s Brigade, Safi was hired at Funny or Die where he would meet long-time collaborator, Erin Gibson. Originally hired as an admin assistant, Safi soon moved to writing and branching out to other productions. He even won an Emmy for writing during his time on The Ellen Show. In 2011 Safi and Gibson began their Attitudes! (formerly Throwing Shade) podcast. Discussing gender issues, LGBT+ issues, and pop culture from a queer and feminist standpoint, the podcast became a hit, even leading to a sadly short-lived TV show on Current TV. The podcast still continues, celebrating its 10th anniversary this year.   

Though the show is a news show, it’s Safi’s longest-running and most known credit and he and Gibson have grown it into the phenomena it is today. Part of the success is Safi’s ability to be vulnerable and open. He talks about everything from difficulty reconciling to his family’s reaction to his homosexuality to his marriage and later his divorce. He brought it up bravely when I asked him to name something he was proud of. 

“It changes all the time, but one of the things I’m most proud of was being open about my divorce because it was so killer for me. I wasn’t stoked to tell people about it, I guess I just had so much shame growing up and internalized, you know, ‘you’re doing everything wrong!’ and I just wanted to let it go. But I was really proud of what I’ve learned from that situation in terms of trying to recreate a family for myself when I didn’t have one.” Safi isn’t looking to hold TED Talks, but he shares his experiences in truthful and authentic ways and audiences respond. 

“I was really embarrassed about it initially, I was so scared for my family to find out because I thought they would feel sort of vindicated about my life. When I finally just owned the divorce, I felt more open, and talking about it helped me heal. And ultimately that gave me the strength to finally tell my parents that tolerance isn’t good enough. Acceptance isn’t good enough. They’re either all in or they’re not.”

It’s this kind of vulnerability that places Safi firmly into the camp of “Protect Him At All Costs” and the reason his fanbase keeps growing as he gets more exposure. In 2018 Safi went in to audition for a small role on Ryan Murphy’s 9-1-1

“It’s been incredible! That audition was, I think, four lines and it was for a character that wasn’t even Josh!” Safi explains, “ It was a really fast audition and I thought it was just going to be one episode, but it’s been over 30!” Josh is the call center supervisor and he works alongside Jennifer Love Hewitt’s character, Maddie Buckley. Fans have taken to Josh, even going so far as to create fancams (little montage videos set to music).

“I am so stoked about it. I love that people are so invested in the character and want good things for him and want to see him dating and in a happy relationship. It’s all very heartwarming!” 

And well deserved. Safi’s affable personality and talent landed him another choice gig in season 3 of You on Netflix. I asked him to tell me a little bit about the character. 

“So this is a new season and they’re in a new neighborhood where [Joe and Love] have a new baby. The neighborhood is pretty affluent and kind of techie, so I play Jackson and I’m a tech lawyer. My husband’s name is Andrew so we are…yup! Andrew Jackson!” It’s horrifying and hysterical which is a common trope in the You-verse so I wasn’t surprised, but also delightfully shocked." Safi laughs brightly, “I’m just that kind of gay husband/father that wears plaid and vests and drives a Tesla and a Range Rover. He’s really trying to do some good in the world, but in a very ‘pat on the back’ sort of way. But it’s very fun.”

I watched the first episode of the series and some of Jackson’s opening lines have to do with watching porn in an anti-gravity chamber. Typical You nonsense. 

“It’s so fun because it’s so different from who I play in 9-1-1 and my persona on the podcast. I’m sort of playing the kind of people I would look at in high school and think, well I’m glad I’m not that! Even though he can be a very sweet character!”

Bryan Safi can be found on this season on You, on Netflix now, and the next season of 9-1-1. In the meantime you can catch him on the Attitudes! Podcast, Groceries, or Ask Ronna (With Bryan) wherever podcasts are found.