Being touchy may be a good indictor of interest, but as an isolated behavior, you still don't have the full picture.
ZacharyZane_
March 17 2017 5:46 PM EST
December 09 2022 9:12 AM EST
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Being touchy may be a good indictor of interest, but as an isolated behavior, you still don't have the full picture.
Sometimes I think that queer guys are the most oblivious creatures in the history of mankind, especially when it comes to flirting. There have been a number of times where I am seemingly throwing myself at men, and I learn after the fact that they had “No idea that you were actually into me. I thought you were just being friendly.” At this point I think to myself, “Seriously? How could you not know?”
Don’t get me wrong. At times, it’s definitely tough to read if a guy is into you or if he’s just being friendly. And of course, some guys are just naturally flirty. However, there are definitely some telltale signs he wants to be more than just friends.
The key is looking at the whole picture, not just a single behavior or sentence. It’s crucial to look at his body language, what he says, where he looks, if he lingers, and if he’s touchy. Just because he laughed and touched your thigh doesn’t mean he’s necessarily into you. It’s highly likely he is, but he could just be a touchy guy.
So here are some signs you should look for to see if he’s into you. If you notice he’s engaging in not just one or two, but a few of these signs, I’d be willing to bet you’ve piqued his interest in more ways than a simple friend can.
1. He's always making eye contact
Eye contact is EVERYTHING. If he’s able to sustain long periods of eye contact with you, then odds are, he’s into you. He’s looking at you because he wants to take you all in.
2. He’s touchy
Touchiness is a large indicator of interest. If he puts his hand on your thigh, he’s probably into you. If when he laughs, he puts your hand on his back, again, there's a good possibility he’s into you. Things like that are usually pretty indicative of the fact that he does, indeed, like you.
3. When you touch him, his body reciprocates
When you put your hand on his thigh, he doesn’t move his leg away and he lets your hand stay there. Or he may even put his hand on your thigh. Or when you touch his back, he doesn’t recoil, he leans into you. If he’s recoiling or doesn't seem comfortable with you touching him, he’s definitely not into you, and you should cool it with all the touching.
4. He looks for opportunities to spend time with you
Let’s say you’re at a bar with friends, and you meet this guy. You tell everyone that you’re going to grab a drink, and the guy says, “I’ll come with you.” Now either he’s thirsty and just wants a drink (it’s nice going up the bar with someone instead of going up alone) or he’s looking for more time to spend with you (specifically, he’s looking for some one-on-one time).
5. He’s laughing at all your jokes
If you’re spewing lame jokes non-stop, and he’s still laughing, either he has a terrible sense of humor, or (more likely) he likes you. So anything you say, no matter how stupid it is, he’ll still laugh at it.
6. He says something
Unless you have a reason not to take him at face value, you should do so. If he says, “Hey, I had a lot of fun meeting you, we should do something else sometime!” then he probably is into you. Friends don’t say they had a “fun time,” and would like to “do it again sometime.” Friends just have fun times, and obviously want to hang out again together. Nothing needs to be said.
Next time you see a guy engaged in a few of these behaviors, and you're interested in him, try making a move. I’d be willing to bet you’ll both be happy you did.
Zachary Zane is a writer, YouTube influencer, and activist whose work focuses on (bi)sexuality, gender, dating, relationships, and identity politics. Check out his YouTube channel here.
Zachary Zane is a writer, YouTube influencer, and activist whose work focuses on (bi)sexuality, gender, dating, relationships, and identity politics. Check out his YouTube channel here.