Are high heels really bad for you? I hate to think that something that has made me feel so sexy, given me a swagger, put a wiggle in my step and just generally been such a big part of my life is really traitor, secretly ruining my back and knees and slowly crippling me. Please high heels, don’t do me like that. I love you. I can’t live without you.
We queers, we dress to attract. Argue if you must but that’s the way I see it. I can just hear you now saying, “But Diana, all I ever wear is baggy jeans and a hoodie that says ‘Coach’ on it and I don’t mean the high end handbag line.” Look I don’t care if you woke up this morning and donned two beach towels stapled together, what you are wearing is a way for you to tell the people around you something about who you are and who you like. When it comes down to it your fashion is a way of spelling out what kind of attention you want to attract. Just think about it for a moment. If you go for comfort and give no thought whatsoever to your style, well then you’d probably be uncomfortable with a woman who wanted to doll up all the time and your clothes are saying that. And if you dressing down on purpose, you’ve probably got a motivation for that too. Perhaps you want to avoid attention at all costs or you want to feel invisible or scare off glances from dudes.
I’m most comfortable decked out in heels and a dress. It’s a paradox of sorts because if you go the high femme route you risk being mistaken for straight by dykes and men alike. And the times in my life I’ve gone out in a hoodie and jeans I’ve actually gotten more attention from other queer women and more recognition on the street than when I’m in my usual attire. The problem though is, women who think I look just fine in sweats are not the type of women I’m going to get all hot and bothered for.
I like a good old school butch woman who knows to open the car door, who gets whiplash when a short skirt walks by. I like a woman who appreciates the art of objectifying other women. Forget sexism, forget thinking objectifying women is a bad thing. That’s for straight people.
More on next page...
\\\
(continued)
So that said, I’m having a dilemma. I just bought my first pair of comfortable shoes. I love them. They are ugly. They are less sexy than most Republican Senators. They look like Tevas and Crocs had a baby. And I still love them. I love them so much I can’t stop wearing them.
I’m staying in Atlanta for a little while with my girlfriend. It’s a temporary move so I can live with her and save money while I finish a book and save up for a book tour. And Atlanta is not a walking city. It is a driving city. But I don’t have a car. She does, of course. But I need to feel like I have some independence and can get places on my own. And I’m from New York, when you walk everywhere all the time. So I studied Google maps for a few days and came to the conclusion that I can indeed walk places. There are a lot of cafes, shops, restaurants, etc within a two mile radius so as long as I’m up for a 40 minute walk I can get around on my own. I’m up for long walks, but not in stiletto heels, which up until yesterday was all I owned. And then I bought these things and walked to the grocery store in them. Hello! These shoes rule. Usually when I wear flat shoes my calves ache because I’ve work heels for so many years I have shortened my leg muscles and Achilles tendon and now have permanently poised Barbie feet. But not with my Teva/Croc bastard child shoes. Nope. I feel great. For the record, the ugly shoes I’m having an affair with are called fitflops in case you want to look them up and get a visual.
So what’s a girl to do? Should I give up mobility and independence to follow my footwear passion? Or should I just give in a wear these weird orthopedic flip flops? I love these so much but I’m worried I’ll never feel sexy again. Next thing you know I’m going to stop shaving and start wearing patchouli. I feel like I’m never going to have sex again. But I can’t wear my normal shoes in Atlanta unless I’m lying on my back and my legs are up in the air. Not a bad position to be in, but I can’t stay like that forever no matter how much I’d like to.
What’s your take on suffering for beauty? Inquiring minds want to know.
Want more Diana? Find it here!
