IT'S the most wonderful time of the year…
With the queens out there yelling
And everyone telling you
Be of good cheer
Pride's the most wonderful time of the year
Sing along!
Dykes on Bikes, hairy bears, bio-boys in 4-inch stilettos and leather outfits. There are condoms flying through the air- and an occasional dental damn if they're not being to cheap- rainbow colored beads, signs that read” I love my gay daughter” and glitter! Ooh how I lovvve glitter…
With all the slaps that we've been taking in the face regarding our rights and all, a proclamation of June as Pride month is nice, but having my rights would be better. I digressed -- it's a month of living in color and out-loud. It's OUR time, time for us to reflect on our struggle and celebrate ourselves, cause if we don't then who will?
“I'm bi-sexual.” My friend asserted for the 3rd time that day.
We were sitting in a restaurant waiting for the nighttime Brooklyn Pride parade to begin when she just yelled it out -- again like it was some kind of bisexual turrets.
“Great, honey I know.” I smiled and went back to sipping my sangria. She was saying this like it was some kind of news to us. But it wasn't, as she is a close friend and she was sitting with her girlfriend, who knows that she's bi, along with two other close friends, who also know that she's bi.
The beginning of the parade was threatening to come down the street so we made our way out to 7th ave. A couple sheets to the wind my friend leaned over to me and whispered,
“I would never, ever, ever, ever date a bi-sexual!”
A truck full of drag queens dancing to Lady Gaga's “Poker Face” was passing by.
“I lovvvve a good drag queen.” I exclaimed!
“Seriously- why does she keep saying that, like it's a good thing. I would never date a bisexual.”
“I love this song, don't you?” I said, while doing a little shimmy.
“Did you hear me? I said, “I'd never date a bisexual.”
“ Yeah, girl…I heard you, I'm just choosing to ignore you and shimmy with the drag queens-ooooh look at her hair. It's so big and shiny.”
“Why?”
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(continued)
“It's Brooklyn Pride. Can't we just have fun? Let's keep it light! Wave your flag and celebrate pride with your bi-phobic self, okay.” I waved my little flag.
“Did you here her? I mean, I mean I'm a card carrying, dues-paying dyke. Every five minutes she's like, “I'm bi-sexual. I don't do bi-chicks.”
“Well, she's not your girlfriend so you don't have to.”
“I just don't trust them.”
Finally, I was baited and I couldn't help myself.
“Are you serious? You know, I didn't think that people really still felt that way- or at the very least- still talked that way. I thought that kind of thinking went out of style along with Capri's and outlining your lips in black.“
“Why did she have to keep saying it?”
It's then that I caught the eye of one lone women walking down the street by herself with a sign that said, Bi-Pride.”
“That's why.” I pointed to the one woman walking down the street.
Now I know it's a time of celebration, and it's so much easier to point at the “man” about how messed up they are… and they are messed up, so I'll be brief.
I love my bi-friend!
If you enjoy Gloria's humor in her writing, check out this brief clip of her stand-up!
Misssed Gloria's last column? Read it here.
