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15 Awkward Things That Happen When You're At A Gay Bathhouse

15 Awkward Things That Happen When You're At A Gay Bathhouse

15 Awkward Things That Happen When You're At A Gay Bathhouse
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Seriously, what's with that smell sometimes?

@andrewjstillman


What did I get myself into?

15 Awkward Things That Happen When You're At A Gay Bathhouse

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Going to a gay bathhouse is a monumental experience when you do it for the first time. Whether you're a newbie or a seasoned regular, and as fun as it can be to get all steamy with the guys there are also bound to be some uncomfortable encounters you experience here and there.

Here's a look at 15 of the most awkward things that can happen at a gay bathhouse.

1. You run into an ex

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There’s nothing worse than heading to the bathhouse to forget about your ex, only to run into him — and maybe even already with someone else. That someone else could also be someone you know, and the awkward encounter only gets worse from there.

2. You have really bad public sex

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It's bad enough when you have terrible sex when you're on your own. With the amount of voyeurs that cruise around the bathhouse, bad sex is made all the worse when everyone is watching it happen.

3. You learn just how freaky some people can be

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Look, to each their own. Some people have some pretty intense kinks and the bathhouse is a place where they all come out to play.

4. You bring a black light

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You should never do this because it will probably leave you completely traumatized.

5. You get a cramp during... you know

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This is kind of an awful thing to happen during any type of sexual encounter, but when you’re a bathhouse and it’s a little more public, the last thing you want is a hamstring or a calf cramp when you’re trying to get it on.

6. You embarrass yourself in front of someone you think is hot

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There are plenty of ways you can embarrass yourself in front of him. Like getting a cramp, it’s made all the worse by the fact you’ll probably have an audience who watches you make a fool of yourself.

7. When they look better from further away

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You see him across the room, the lighting isn’t the best as it is, and he looks pretty good. Maybe his teeth even shine a bit in the dark. Then you go over to start a conversation and realize they looked way better from further away and need to backtrack before you do (or say) anything you’ll regret.

8. When you're not prepared for basically anything

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You’re really just in over your head, and it’s likely this is your first time if you’re just not prepared for anything that takes place. This can also include visuals just as much as bringing along items to help make sex easier.

9. When you both want to take the same position

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Ugh. And it especially sucks when you’re just coming to the bathhouse for nothing more than a good lay, and it’s almost more disappointing than if you’ve spent the entire night on an app getting the same results.

10. You go with a friend who makes it weird

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​Going with a friend can be a fun experience, but sometimes the company you keep isn’t as much fun as you thought they’d be when they’re in this situation. Even if they’ve been with you here before, you never know when your tag-along is going to make things awkward.

11. You're not getting any luck, despite your efforts

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Isn’t it supposed to be easier here?

12. When you're not as ready as you thought you were

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Again, this is more likely to happen when it’s your first time. Maybe you’ve fantasized about bathhouses and saw yourself green with envy anytime you heard anybody else’s stories, but when you’re faced with the action yourself, you may find you’re not quite as ready as you thought you were. No worries, there’s always next time!

13. When regulars realize you're new and haze you

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It’s just like being the new kid on the block, everyone’s going to want to have a little slice.

14. When the place smells a little funky

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Look, a lot goes down in the bathhouse world, and not every smell that comes along with it is a good one. If it’s been a wee bit of time in between some cleaning and the staff is lacking, the funky smell can totally ruin the mood.

15. When you're the one who doesn't understand the etiquette

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There’s a whole separate language when it comes to the bathhouse, and until you experience it for yourself, there’s no real way to know exactly how to approach the etiquette inside to make sure you’re not the one making things totally awkward.

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Andrew J. Stillman

Contributing Writer for Pride.com

Andrew J. Stillman is a freelance writer and yoga instructor exploring the world. Check him out at andrewjstillman.com or follow him @andrewjstillman on all the things.

Andrew J. Stillman is a freelance writer and yoga instructor exploring the world. Check him out at andrewjstillman.com or follow him @andrewjstillman on all the things.