15 types of bottoms that you typically run into at a gay bar

And here's how to spot your preferred type!

Going to a gay bar is an experience in and of itself, regardless of the reason you're there. Maybe you're there on a date, hanging out with friends, or with the intent of hooking up. Frankly, those are all great reasons to hit the town.

However, if it's the latter, and you're a top (or in the mood to top) then you're probably looking for the bottom who's your type (or who fits your mood). After all, bottoms are not a monolith — and deserve our gratitude for all they do to make sure everyone is having a great time — so finding one you're into is essential.

So, if you're a top who's on the hunt, here are 15 types of bottoms you're likely to run into at the gay bars.

1. The loud bottom

He's vocal from the bar to the car ride home to the actual sex itself, and we really wouldn't have him any other way. Though, he's often a little easier to deal with after a couple of drinks for ourselves.

2. The shy bottom

On the flip side of the loud bottom, the shy bottom is more reserved. He isn't standoffish, he doesn't have any "rules" as far as who approaches first, he just takes a little time to warm up.

3. The horniest bottom

He wants anybody and everybody and he's all right with kissing any frogs along the way to find his prince for the night. Hell, he might even take a few princes into the bathrooms with him while he's there. Regardless, he is just always ready.

4. The obvious bottom

There's no questioning here with this one. Some bottoms exude "top energy" and some guys are "vers" for "the record," but these bottoms need no further introduction, and they won't be taking any other roles in the bedroom anytime soon, either.

5. The curious bottom

He's curious about bottoming, and maybe he's tried it a time or two or maybe he hasn't. He may also be curious about what it's like to bottom for more than one person, either back-to-back or trying out a good old-fashioned DP.

6. The virgin bottom

We all have to start somewhere, and he probably feels a little more comfortable picking someone up at the bar as opposed to an app, for vetting purposes. He's probably the most nervous in the room, but he's looking for an experience he'll never forget.

7. The newer bottom

He's not a virgin and he isn't in the curious stage. He knows he likes to bottom and he knows he wants more of it, but he's still learning all of the ropes to it and needs a little bit of grace while he explores.

8. The twerking bottom

This booty-shaker pops his bussy like it’s nobody’s business. The moment he hits the dance floor, he is shaking his money maker, booty clapping, serving up cakes for EVERYONE to see. Does it get the attention of the elusive wild top? Why yes, yes it does.

9. The “top must initiate” bottom

It’s 2018. You would think by now that we’ve learned your sexual position preference has nothing to do with who "picks up" the other, but there are still numerous gay guys who believe that all tops should be the aggressor. They’re the ones who should buy the drinks and initiate conversation. I don’t get it, but hey, whatever turns you on.

10. The choosy bottom

I mean, I have no experience with this. What I describe as my God-given ability to see the beauty in everyone, my friends describe as being an easy hoe with no standards. Toe-may-to, Toe-mah-to. But God knows there are bottoms who are looking for that one glass dick slipper. Good luck finding it, hunty.

11. The tall bottom

Truly, an endangered species, the tall bottoms have it the roughest, especially if they have a flat tushy. Every gay automatically assumes they are a top if they’re 6’2’’ or over. The struggle for tall bottoms is real, and honestly, I’d go as far to say it is currently the biggest issue plaguing the gay community.

12. The clingy bottom

He was talking to a top he finds cute for a little bit, but then the top, for whatever the reason, decides, “Okay, I’m going to keep it moving. Don’t want to talk this guy all night.” The bottom clearly does not get the memo and keeps following the top from afar or keeps trying to talk to him when the top is clearly no longer interested.

13. The hairy, muscle, power bottom

Daddy? DADDY? God bless these men. They are doing the work of the Lord, and they make me weak in the knees. Don’t understand how they douche; I’d imagine it’s akin to scraping peanut butter out of sheep’s wool, but let’s not focus on that element. Let’s just focus on whether or not they will be your father.

14. The chosen bottom

Urgh, tops have it so freakin’ easy. They can walk into any gay bar and know that nearly every guy there bottoms. This is called top privilege. It’s destroying the gay community and enables tops to be mediocre at sex. Countless studies have actually shown time and time again that 99.9999% of gay men are bottoms. So if you are lucky enough to be chosen to go home with a top, you count your blessings and spread those cheeks.

15. The biggest bottom

Just like Bob the Drag Queen, he's just a Big Old Bottom, no matter what he does.