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For many queer men, sexting has become the norm. With a ton of hook-up apps, men often sext before meeting (and sometimes, sext and never meet up). Given how widespread and normalized sexting has become among gay and bisexual men, the rules of the game have changed.
Here are some of the new dos and don’ts of sexting:
Do: Start slow.
Be a little tease. It’s the only time it’s really acceptable. Send some pics that stop right at the top of your hip bone, where that sexy V starts. You don’t need to show off everything at once. Build the suspense.
Don’t: Send unsolicited dick pics.
Wait until things start heating up, and you’re talking a little dirty to each other. Don’t surprise him with your morning wood.
Do: Use photovault (or some locked app) to save pictures.
If you don’t want to delete any pics, make sure they’re saved somewhere safe and password protected. There’s nothing worse than scrolling through your photos with a friend, and a pic of your peen pops up.
Don’t: Say you want to do something that you actually wouldn't want to do in real life.
Present yourself accurately. Don’t present with what you think he likes.
Do: Expect he’ll show his friends.
He may or may not, but it’s a safe assumption to make. Make sure you’d feel comfortable with not only the guy you're sexting seeing those pics of you, but all his buddies.
Don’t: Say you’re verse unless you truly would feel comfortable topping and bottoming.
This harkens back to presenting yourself accurately.
Do: Keep the face out of it.
Or any identifying markers. I know, this takes away some fun and makes me sound like a helicopter mom, but we all know of someone who was blackmailed with pics or found a naked pic of himself online.
Don’t: Slut shame yourself.
Be safe. Be smart. Don’t feel guilty. We live in the 21st century. Don’t beat yourself up for having a little fun.
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Zachary Zane
Zachary Zane is a writer, YouTube influencer, and activist whose work focuses on (bi)sexuality, gender, dating, relationships, and identity politics. Check out his YouTube channel here.
Zachary Zane is a writer, YouTube influencer, and activist whose work focuses on (bi)sexuality, gender, dating, relationships, and identity politics. Check out his YouTube channel here.
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