Seestra, Seestra: Orphan Black is Back and Better than Ever - Recap

Clone Club, I hope you had a good Saturday. After months of waiting, Orphan Black has returned, and it's already clear 'sophomore slump' are words that will never cross our lips. I've done many a rewatch and was still almost as unprepared to comprehend the genius that is Tatiana Maslany as I was for that brief and magical musical number (where is the sign up sheet for the Alison Hendrix fan club, by the way?). 

Oh, how we've missed these girls, and we couldn't be happier to have them back in our lives, even if just about nothing good is happening to them. Except that musical, of course. That can be nothing but golden.

We find ourselves right where we left off, with Sarah on an epic and grungy quest to find her daughter Kira and foster mom Mrs. S. Surprise of the century, it doesn't go well. All her clone pals' phones are disconnected, and the only person she can reach - Rachel - isn't exactly a beacon of warmth and good news. She tells Sarah that if she surrenders, she'll get her family back, but Sarah's not on board. She's also not at the best diner either, because she's quickly ambushed by the clean-cut but villainously gun-toting Prolethians (the religous, anti-Neolutionists who raised Helena to kill clones), who quickly take out the sole employee at the diner before chasing after Sarah. 

One Prolethian is lost in the process, but the other nearly catches Sarah before she is able to squirm away (though not before kicking him in the face!). Side note: how great is it to hear that theme song after a shiny new teaser?

Of course when you're down on your luck, what better place to go than a hopin' gay club? There, Sarah finds a very high Felix (let's take a moment for those assless chaps). He points out that Sarah's phone is probably being tracked, and she makes a quick call to Paul demanding a private meeting before ditching her cell and snatching another. 

But enough about Sarah, there's Cophine action to be had. At Felix's apartment, Delphine takes Cosima's blood while trying to convince her to work with Dr. Leekie at the Dyad Institute, which may be the only hope in finding a cure to her illness. Delphine also insists that she's only working with Leekie to protect Cosima (please be true, dammit), and that they're relationship can be 'whatever they want.' Cosima makes Delphine agree that Cosima must be able to do her own research, and Delphine can't give the blood samples to the Dyad Institute or tell Dr. Leekie Cosima knows about the patent. They hug on it, but there are also ambient candles lit. You do the math.

Never forget that Alison's first line of the season is, "What the dickens?" as she answers the door to her BFF Felix, who is still high. Fe asks Alison for a gun on behalf of Sarah, but Alison doesn't keep them in her house anymore, and the ones in her locker at the range are all registered to her. However, she has, according to her, a very reputable acquaintance Ramon who can get Sarah what she's looking for. Donnie overhears the voices, and when he interrupts Alison hides Felix and tells Donnie she's rehearsing lines for the musical she's in, explaining "I'm not in control of the muse." 

Paul goes to meet Sarah, intercepting a new phone that won't be tracked for their phone call. He says he has a message from Rachel that she'll be getting on a plane with Kira tomorrow, and Sarah better be on it if she wants her daughter back. He passes along that Rachel will be at an event at the Dyad tomorrow, but her assistant Daniel is always be her side and plans on coming after Sarah. Right now, in fact, because she totally would have gotten kidnapped if the girl they tried to steal away wasn't a cocky skater-chick Sarah commissioned to say, "Up yours!" Well done all around.

Sarah calls Cosima to discuss the party at the Dyad Insitute that night, and Cosima tells her she may take Delphine up on the invitation. Fe points out that Cosima seems to have taken Delphine up on some things in his bed last night, to which Cosima responds, "Look, I'm not going to apologize for my heart, okay?" That would be our line of the night, if it wasn't for the impending musical number.

Of course, the world is a disappointing place and as soon as Delphine arrives at the Dyad Institute she's confronted by Dr. Leekie. Delphine reports that Cosima is exactly where he wants her, uses her patent number to identify her, and hands over Cosima's blood sample. "Congratulations, I'm invested. Which I'm sure is what you want," is definitely not our favorite line of the night. 

Alison stops to pick up the gun from her adorable prescription drug/pot/gun dealer Ramon (but doesn't forget to ask him how his mother is) before heading off to her musical rehearsal. The show will be opening soon, and Aynsley apparently had the leading role. Since Alison knew the part better than anyone, she will now be playing Aynsely's part. Way to accidentally murder your way to the top of community theater, girl! "Let's pick it up from the point where everyone helps Sheila clean up after the unforunate death!" the director not-at-all-ironically proclaims as the musical number begins. Yes, there is singing. Yes, there is broom-oriented choreography. Yes, this is an absolutely perfect moment in history.

Bearing witness to this rehearsal is Detective Bell, who's still on the supposedly shut-down Clone Case with his less than sunshiny partner Angie. In a moment of perfectly unfortunate timing, Sarah enters to meet Alison for the gun trade-off and is immediately handcuffed by Angie and thrown in the car. They try to interrogate Sarah, but can't technically arrest her. Sarah briefly discusses Kira's kidnapping privately with Bell, but just as things are about to get personal Angie returns and Sarah shuts up. After Sarah's released, Bell mysteriously confesses to Angie that Sarah's beginning to trust him, which probably means she shouldn't.

Rachel visits Dr. Leekie, who isn't so sure about this plan to potentially kidnap Sarah's family. He insists that as awesome as Kira's genetics are, they need Sarah as well. Rachel tells him not to worry, they'll get Sarah back. 

Sarah meets with Cosima and Felix about getting Kira back from Rachel.

Cosima offers to go yell at Rachel for Sarah since she's on the list for the Dyad Party (ah, but let's remember these girls are clones...), but the discussion is interupted by a "flower" delivery from Ramon.

Alison is then Skyped in so the whole Clone Club can be in on Sarah's life goals. Cosima asks if Sarah's really going to just walk in shooting people, Sarah's pretty damn on board with that plan, and Alison doesn't want to be involved. Poor Alison, because unbeknownst to her part of Sarah's plan involves telling Rachel she actually will meet with her, and she'll be in a red mini van. Alison's mini van. Actually, what Sarah meant was, 'Go attack Alison while I sneak into the Dyad Institute dressed as Cosima." Luckily, Alison is let go, but not without kicking a guy in the face and utilizing a ton of pepper spray. 

Sarah continues on with part 2 of her plan, aka, "The Wost Fake Dreadlocks," and sneaks into the Dyad party. She sees Paul, but is immediately pulled aside and disconcertingly made out with by Delphine (there's a couple that definitely won't be happening). Leekie approaches, and Sarah gives her best Cosima to insist that if she's going to take him up on his offer to work together, she wants her own lab. Delphine's not as impressed at how awesome it is that Tatiana Maslany is able to portray Sarah portraying Cosima and unravels the ruse immediately. However, she doesn't seem to know anything about the Kira Kidnapping plot. She does direct Sarah to where Rachel will be, and Sarah uses a Leekie-swiped badge to sneak inside. 

After Rachel finishes up a successful meeting with "The Koreas" about the successful DNA trials, Sarah ambushes her, demanding Kira. Whoops, Rachel never had Kira...She just wanted to use the threat as an incentive to attract Sarah to her. It worked, but now Sarah's super pissed and holding a gun. "You're not going to shoot me, Sarah," Rachel states calmly, and she's right, but Sarah does shoot the glass right next to her head and punch her in the face before sticking the gun on her and hissing, "You don't own us." Paul storms in, his own gun out, and coaxes Sarah off the knocked-out Rachel. Sarah's not about to have any of Paul's nonsense and disarms him. Paul tells her to go and that he'll cover for her. Yay for him, but he still has so little personality it hurts.

Detective Bell arrives home that night to discover Sarah lurking around his apartment. She vents to him about not knowing who took Kira, and he tells her he knew that the Dyad didn't have her. He believes it's the Prolethians, and tells her that Maggie Chen (the woman that Beth killed before the show even started) was a Prolethian. Sarah knows the Prolethians as Helena's people, and Bell asks Sarah who Helena is. They then sit down to have what is probably a very ill-advised heart-to-heart. 

Speaking of ill-advised, guess who's back, everyone?!! That's right, it's your favorite Ukrainian religious extremist, and she is not doing so well. At least Helena's managed to make it back to the hospital, croaking, "My seestra shot me," before collapsing on the floor. Enter the Prolethian who tried to kidnap Sarah in the diner, and for some reason it's very important he's wearing a belt buckle with a deranged fish on it. More on that soon, I'm sure!

Even though the return of Helena is definitely the coolest thing about this episode, we end on a mysterious man brushing Kira's hair and taking her photo on the bed of an undisclosed location. Well, at least she's not dead! Cheers! Time to go spend the week being unexpectedly thrilled about the return of Helena, Cophine's hopefully not-backstabbing love affair, and, of course, Alison's community theater debut. Season 2 was well worth the wait.