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14 Reactions to the Terrible Idea of Marrying Off Lesbian Nyssa to the Arrow

14 Reactions to the Terrible Idea of Marrying Off Lesbian Nyssa to the Arrow

14 Reactions to the Terrible Idea of Marrying Off Lesbian Nyssa to the Arrow

Wedding bells rang on Arrow this week, and the sound was painful.

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Lately on Arrow, Oliver Queen's (Stephen Amell) been going through some tough times. He's now a member of The League of Assassins, run by the evil Ra's Al Ghul and, not only that, he's being primed to takeover and carry on the lineage by wedding/bedding Ra's daughter, badass former-League member and always lesbian Nyssa Al Ghul (Katrina Law).

A match made in heaven, right? Clearly, completely wrong, and we've got some pretty intense feelings about it. So in honor of the occasion, we've decided to make a guide for Ra's detailing when it's cool to marry off your lesbian child to a straight guy. Not to mention, Nyssa is still mourning the death of her beloved Black Canary (who was bi). Let's begin!

 

1. Ask yourself, 'Do I have to marry my lesbian daughter off to this guy?'

2. "But what if it's really necessary for my evil plans?"

3. Why do you have evil plans in the first place? You're making a terrible case here.

4. So if you didn't have an evil plan, then you might be okay with your lesbian daughter being a lesbian? 

5. Nope? Okay, well, then that's still basically an evil plan. Even if civilization is not also at stake.

6. You have to respect your children's sexuality! Or at least not force them into a lifestyle that they don't want!

7. "But my evil plans-"

8. "So when is it okay to marry off my lesbian or otherwise queer daughter to a man?"

10. Literally never. Never do that.

11. "But can I marry off my straight children to people they don't want to marry?"

12. Absolutely under no circumstances.

13. "But my evil-"

14. Just never marry anyone off against their will, Ra's. Live and let lesbian. Live and let lesbian. 

 

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Preston Max Allen