6 Awkward Moments Only Bisexuals Have to Deal With

Apparently, bisexuality confuses the hell out of everyone. Why can’t we just make up our minds, eh? I mean it’s not as if you can be a cat person and still like dogs, or prefer savory food but still enjoy the odd chocolate cake now and then, is it? Oh wait, yes it is.

Sexuality is fluid and all perspectives are valid. We are not confused, we are bifabulous and pretty smug about having twice the amount of choices as those claiming that bisexuality is just greed or that we’re confused. Promptly shut the fuck up, sir. Here are some of the unique issues bisexuals deal with daily.

1. The Couple Crush

No, bisexuals don’t run all over the scene tracking down couples and soliciting threesomes. But often we will meet a couple and have an attraction to one or the other of the pair. And watching them figure out whom I'm crushing on while looking pointedly at my iPhone? Awkward.

2. The Experimenter

As the only out-and-proud bisexual in the village, every day is like Christmas fucking morning when it comes to my options. Every closet case or secret queer girl in town is buying me drinks and sliding their hands up my leg in secret. Then you get them home and they’re less than useless or admit they were just a bit curious. What a waste of time.

3. The HR Equal Opportunities Form

Thanks to various lawsuits and over-cautious HR teams nationwide, we’re now required to disclose our sexuality when applying for a job. But they never have a “bisexual” box, and I personally don’t want to just tick “Other/Do not want to disclose. I’m bi, proud and not going to hide it. And if it’s mentioned in the interview? Fucking Hell.

This happens a lot nowadays as individuals try to encourage open dialogue (which we like) about the LGBTQ movement. But, discussing the intricacies of my sexuality with my potential boss is incredibly awkward.

4. Dating. Any Dating.

Unless you are bisexual, it’s actually the most difficult pocket of the LGBTQ community to understand. Lesbians think we’re tourists and men (after the initial threesome fantasy) start to get insecure after a few months. The reality is that bisexuals tend to go more for the PERSON and not what’s between their legs. It's that simple. We don’t go for gender roles or stereotypes. We go by instinct, to be quite honest, and we don’t understand why you don’t.

5. Explaining It to the Grandparents

“But which do you like more, men or women?” They ask quizzically over Earl Grey Tea and shortbread. Talking about your sex life to any family member is awkward. Explaining how you choose (or don’t for that matter) between dating a vagina or a penis is no fun at all. For a generation that doesn’t really get multiple marriages, the prospect of dating many people let alone different sexes is alien to them. And awkward as hell.

6. Biphobia

For my full rants on biphobia, please connect with me on Twitter or Facebook, but in short, biphobia can fuck the fuck off. Gold star lesbians turning their noses at you because you’ve seen a penis and men melting into insecurity and jealousy at the thought is enough to put us back in to the double-doored closet.

You wouldn’t dare tell a lesbian she can’t be a lesbian and a gay man would give you the furious frowning of your life if you tried to tell him he obviously hasn’t made his mind up yet, or that it's "just a phase" *seeths*. Newsflash! It’s easier for us to say we’re gay or straight, of course it is, but that’s not what we are. Just like you, we’re entitled to live openly and be true to our sexuality. We’ve accepted it. It’s about time you do too.

With so much trans visibility happening right now (which rocks), it’s worth remembering that the B in LGBTQ is just as important as the rest. We are not confused, greedy or experimenting. We are bisexual. For good. End of.

About the Author: E J Rosetta is an LGBT Columnist and coffee addict living in Hampshire with her spoiled cat, Hendricks. More ramblings can be found on Facebook or via Twitter @EJRosetta.