It's been dreary here in Los Angeles for three days, so to cheer ourselves up we opted to think about simpler times -- like when big hair, neon and leg warmers, banana clips and Tears for Fears were the epitome of in vogue.
Most people remember or think of the 80's as a time of awful hair and outrageous fashion (although the fashion still remains a popular theme for summer camp skits and costume parties, and neon has made a comeback). The music, television and movies walk a thin line between totally awesome and beyond terrible. Even with the horrible movies, there were still plenty of ladies that couldn't help but shine brighter than the flourescent clothes, acid-washed denim, legwarmers and even the huge hair or side ponies some of them wore. Here's to these hot ladies of the 80's! Here they are in alphabetical order, by real first name, as not to play favorites (because you can probably guess who they are anyway).
Ally Sheedy: Allison Reynolds in The Breakfast Club
Who besides Ally Sheedy could make snowing with dandruff on a drawing look fetching? The heavy eye liner... the nihilist attitude -- she was the proto-typical burgeoning goth girl.
Catherine Mary Stewart: Regina in Night of the Comet, Gwen Saunders in Weekend at Bernie's
In Night of the Living Comet, this chick slaughtered zombies, toted uzis, mastered video games and scoffed at the world. She's the type of chick you would have no objection to being the last two people on earth with.
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Deborah Foreman: Julie Richmond in Valley Girl
Although best known for her role in Valley Girl, loins were burning for her in a two minute cameo in Real Genius: "Can you hammer a six-inch spike through a board with your penis?" Enough said.
Diane Franklin: Monique Junot in Better Off Dead
Playing a tres-cool French exchange student, this perky tomboy type was hard not to fantasize about.
Diane Lane: Cherry Valance in The Outsiders
As the female lead in The Outsiders, Francis Ford Coppola’s critically acclaimed tale of two rival gangs in the 1960’s, Diane Lane is not only stunning, but at just 18 years old, exhibits a talent that would later go on to make her one of the most respected actresses in Hollywood. She followed Outsiders with another film based on a book by S.E. Hinton, Rumble Fish, her second of three movies for Coppola.
Elizabeth Shue: Chris Parker in Adventures in Babysitting
"Don't fuck with the babysitter." That classic line perfectly sums up what's so great about Elizabeth Shue in the eighties classic Adventures in Babysitting. Whether she's singing the blues, wielding a knife or stripping down to her undies (her doppleganger, that is, who pops up throughout the movie), Shue is the ultimate babysitter fantasy — the kind of girl you'd have no trouble staying up late with.
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Ione Skye: Diane Court in Say Anything
This all-American beauty made her debut in the indie flick River's Edge but she's best known for starring as the object of John Cusack's attention in the quintessential 80's flick Say Anything. Yep. Back in the day we'd have risked limbs to serenade Ione -- who incidently had a real-life fling with one Ms. Jenny Shimizu -- with our own version of Peter Gabriel's 'In Your Eyes!'
Janet Jones: Carla Sampson in The Flamingo Kid
This chick met all requirements of an 80's leading lady: feathered hair and a figure made to sport a leotard. Those qualities had everyone drooling.
Jasmine Guy: Dominique La Rue in Harlem Nights
Best known for her southern belle in the hit show A Different World, Jasmine also starred in Spike Lee's School Daze but it was in Eddie Murphy's Harlem Nights that she really flashed her acting chops, along with a few other things.
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Jennifer Beals: Alex Owens in Flashdance
Long before Jennifer donned Prada business garb as Bette Porter, she mesmerized a generation of lusty boys and girls with tights, leotards, leg warmers, off the shoulder sweatshirts and welding gear. For some, she was the eighties.
Julia Montgomery: Betty Childs in Revenge of the Nerds
She was put on this planet to tempt all geeks, freaks, social outcasts nerds. She was full blonde-haired, blue-eyed perfection - between wearing her BF's football uniform, whip cream being licked off her sexy 8x10 and discovering there was in deed a touch of nerd in her.
Kelly LeBrock: Lisa in Weird Science
If provided with the ability to hack the computer programs of the government and use 80's technology and magic in creating the ideal woman, Kelly LeBrock is the lady that would result.
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Kelly McGillis: Charlie in Top Gun
Back in the day, Kelly's turn as a no-nonsense, hot-ass flight school instructor schooling the likes of Tom Cruise in the ways of the world made her the poster girl for many an eighties teen. Although, we suspect budding lesbians may have been more impressed with her turn as a prosecutor working with Jodie Foster in The Accused. And then there were those little lesbian rumors that turned out to be true..
Kim Cattrall: Emmy in Mannequin
Long before she taught women of a certain age round the world how to get in touch with their g-spots (multiple times in one night), Kim Cattrall was whack-off material for many a teen boy (and probably a few girls), in Porky's and Police Academy. Later, she graduated to slightly more mature roles in Mannequin and Big Trouble in Little China before a decade-long career lull she shattered with Sex and the City.
Kimberly Foster: Cookie Campbell in One Crazy Summer
A chick who can down a leaf bag filled with drive-in movie popcorn is definitely our kind of lady!
Kristy McNichol: Angel in Little Darlings
Every girl of a certain age either wanted to be Kristy McNichol or to make out with her. Her race to the bottom for her virginity in Little Darlings opposite Tatum O'Neal could have only been more enticing if she were losing it with Tatum and not Matt Dillon!
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Leslie Easterbrook: Sgt. Debbie Callahan in Police Academy
Even though she wasn't the leading lady in Police Academy, her perky lady parts, and lovely-yet-ass-kicking personality, definitely stole the show.
Martha Plimpton: The Goonies
Nerdy and sarcastic and typically sporting Coke-bottle Sally Jesse Raphael style glasses, Martha was the 80's modern-day teen heroine.
Mary Stuart Masterson: Watts in Some Kind of Wonderful
Here's nother case of a girl all girls either wanted to be or to be with. Mary Stuart Masterson's adorable school pariah Watts was ultimately the coolest drummer / limo driver on the planet at the time.It's just too bad Watts wasted all of her energy on Eric Stoltz when there were likely plenty of good goth lesbians kicking around school.
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Molly Ringwald: Samantha Baker in Sixteen Candles
Thanks to John Hughes Molly Ringwald fairly typified the era for many an awkward high school girl struggling with teen angst. But her piese de resistance with 1984's Sixteen Candles, in which she spends her 16th birthday bemoaning her still intact virginity, pain-in-the-ass relatives in town for her sister's wedding, nerds and one major crush on a stud.
Phoebe Cates: Linda Barrett in Fast Times at Ridgemont High
Anyone reading this who has yet to see her climbing out of the pool in Fast Times at Ridgemont High needs to open a new tab in their browser, find the clip and watch it. Then, continue drooling over the rest of this list.
Robin Wright: Buttercup (the Princess Bride) in The Princess Bride
Everyone loves a prissy Brit — and when Robin Wright burst onto the scene in The Princess Bride (her film debut), everybody probably thought she was one. As Princess Buttercup (the most beautiful woman in the world, mind you), Wright looks stunning with her long, flowing locks and peasant rags. But because she also gets down and dirty with the boys (wielding a sword and rolling down hills), she’s the sort of girl you want to kick it with too.
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Rosie Perez: Tina, Do the Right Thing
Classic nineties films like White Men Can’t Jump and Untamed Heart may have belonged to Rosie Perez, but the eighties is where she got her start… first as a Fly Girl, and later, when Spike Lee cast her as flamboyant, sexual, provocative and in-your-face Tina in Do the Right Thing. Interestingly, Perez landed the role by calling Lee sexist in a nightclub — he was hosting a “booty” contest. He liked her attitude, and the rest is history.
Shari Headley: Lisa McDowell and Allison Dean as Patrice McDowell in Coming to America
Winona Ryder: Veronica in Heathers
For anti-establishment outsiders yearning for a language all their own, the ultimate dystopian teen angst film Heathers fit their needs. And Winona Ryder's Veronica Sawyer was the quintessential anti-heroine, chowing down on Corn Nuts, fucking on the croquet field, defending the nerds and systematically killing off the mean girls.
Here's a snippet Veronica wisdom: "Dear Diary: Heather told me she teaches people "real life." She said, real life sucks losers dry. You want to fuck with the eagles, you have to learn to fly. I said, so, you teach people how to spread their wings and fly? She said, yes. I said, you're beautiful."
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