The big football thing took place this weekend, and straight people and sports gays were seated, enjoying their version of the Grammys. But as it turned out, CBS and the NFL took pity on the non-sports queers who got roped into watching a bunch of sweaty men run at one another for hours and threw us a bone every now and then to keep us entertained.

So for those who sashayed away from those riotous Super Bowl parties and found something more peaceful to do with your Sunday night, here are the highlights of things you may actually care about that took place during the game.