7 Reasons Not To Date A Guy Who Wears A Clip-On Man Bun

Holy hell. Yes, this is real life. The "clip-on man bun" is a real thing you can purchase with real money and affix to your real head. If you're thinking about getting one: Don't. If you're thinking about dating someone who is thinking about getting one (or, for whatever indecipherable reason, already has one): DON'T. Here's why:

1. He's a liar

If he can't even be honest about his hair, how can you trust him to be honest about ... anything?!

2. He'll follow any trend ... even awful ones

Not all trends are bad (thank you, Lumbersexuals) — but some definitely are. And if he's going for the clip-on man bun, he's probably gone for the drop-crotch pants and the eyebrow piercing. Yikes.

3. He's not confident

Can't rock his own man bun with his own hair? No biggie! He should rock a style that works for him. But trying to woo us with his false hipster-y hairdo?! Nope.

4. It will come off in your hand

When in the throes of passion, some things come off in your hand — and it's exactly what you wanted. But if it's his clip-on man bun? Ger-oss.

5. He's full of secrets

LiLo's gay bestie wasn't lying when he said big hair is full of secrets. Gretchen Weiners taught us all that. Has he learned nothing?!

6. People will think it's a long-haired guinea pig

Long-haired guinea pigs = cute. Clip-on man buns = not cute.

7. Nothing clip-on is ever as good

Ties. Earrings. Sunglasses. Nothing good ever came from this. Nothing.