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What Your Grindr Profile Pic Says About You

What Your Grindr Profile Pic Says About You

What Your Grindr Profile Pic Says About You
ZacharyZane_

In a sea of men, you have a ton of options. That’s what Grindr is all about: options and what you do with them. With all these suitors, everyone focuses on the profile photo. You don’t have time to read everyone’s bio. Ain't nobody got time for that. Besides, everything you need to know you can learn from his prof pic.    

1. Mr. No Pic
Being discreet is all fine and dandy, but at least put some effort into it. He has to have a pic of something, even if it’s of the clouds or a freakin’ dog. Anything is better than nothing. 

2. All Chest and Abs
When you got it, flaunt it. These guys know their strongest feature, and they’re putting their best foot forward. Good for them. Please, just send a face pic at some point, or you’ll  have no choice but to assume he’s the ultimate butter face.

3. The SmolderSmoulder from Tangled  Gif
Did we just have sex? Because you're eye-fucking me like no other.

4. The Smile
This guy is out and confident. He might be there for sex, or may actually be there have some real dates. He’s more likely to chat before the inevitable, “So what are you looking for?” How refreshing!

5. Dressed to the Nines
OK, a suit is an interesting choice. This guy is trying to prove he’s a professional. Maybe he’s one of those “travelers” who are only in town for one night (but weirdly enough show up on your Grindr every day for the month) and need a buddy to “show him the town.”

6. Beach Bod
Beach pics are the subtlest ways to show everything off. The guy can be shirtless (and with good reason, he’s at a beach), show off what he’s working with (speedos leave very little room for the imagination) and can flash a smile (if he has a cute one). 

7. Monster Sunglasses
He may be gorgeous, but you have no choice but to assume he's ugly … why else would he cover his whole face? 

8. The Nature/City Lover
These guys make you wonder if National Geographic works for Grindr. Honestly though, you respect his anonymity, just please send a face pic before sending a message.

9. The Gym Selfie
He values appearances and knows he looks good right when he has a post-workout pump. There's no question; it’s tacky and vain, but he looks hot. So, screw it! 

10. JailbaitFor the love of God get off this app. You don’t care what his profile says, there is no way in hell that child is 18.

11. Couples Looking for “Friends”
Shenanigans. They can’t fool you. If they were honestly looking for friends, they wouldn’t be on Grindr. Why don’t they say what they both want, and who knows? You may be down. 

12. Blown Up Blurry PicsWTF? Why? Are you taking selfies on a Motorola ROKR?

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Zachary Zane

Zachary Zane is a writer, YouTube influencer, and activist whose work focuses on (bi)sexuality, gender, dating, relationships, and identity politics. Check out his YouTube channel here.

Zachary Zane is a writer, YouTube influencer, and activist whose work focuses on (bi)sexuality, gender, dating, relationships, and identity politics. Check out his YouTube channel here.