What Your Summer Bottoms Say About You

Summer is finally here.  Hallelujah. The sun brings pool parties, sandals, sunburns, Corona's, tank tops, beaches, but most importantly, shorts. Now don’t go picking out your shorts all willy-nilly. What you wear down there makes a statement about you, and in some cases, defines you.

Here are what your summer bottoms say about you:

Cargo shorts 
You’re a man on a mission. You have anything that anyone could need on you. Sunscreen? Back left pocket. Sunglasses? Front right pocket. Chapstick? Side pocket.

Jeans 
Vampire. You’re a straight up vampire. Or even worse, someone who hates summer.

Capris 
Shorts might not be your thing. That’s OK. They’re not for everyone. Capris are an alternative for those who aren’t a big fan of shorts.

Knee-length gym shorts 
You’ve been wearing those shorts year-round. Summer means nothing to you. Sun or snow, day or night, doesn't matter. You’re always either coming from or going to the gym in those bad boys.

Mid-thigh-length shorts (typically linen) 
Often salmon-colored, these shorts are accompanied with some form of brightly-colored throwaway sunglasses, a polo shirt and a bud light. You knows what’s up and are ready to have some fun.  

Short-shorts 
You get what summer is all about. No shorts are too short. None.

Jorts 
Yaaaas. Summer = jorts. Doesn’t matter where you’re going. Brunch? Jorts. Club? Jorts. Date? Jorts. Work? Jorts. Beach? Jorts. Bed? Jorts. Shower? JORTS.

Speedo 
You don’t care who sees; you don’t care if it’s “not the place” for a speedo. The sun is out and you want those rays all over you.

Bathing suit trunks 
You’re always ready in case a pool of water sneaks up behind you. You’re not going to let anything get in the way of getting to the beach. “Let me get home and change” is not in your vocabulary.

Whatever you’re wearing, flaunt it. Get out there and soak in that sun.