20 Queer Q's with Remy Duran

The 20 Queer Q's series seeks to capture LGBTQ+ individuals (and allies) in a moment of authenticity. We get to know the subjects, what makes them who they are, and what they value.

The goal of these intimate conversations is to leave you, the reader, feeling like you just gained a new friend, a new perspective, and that you learned something new about or saw a different side of someone—maybe someone that you don’t see online, but someone that’s maybe like you.

This week, we get to know Remy Duran, who is currently starring on the eighth season of MTV’s reality dating series Are You the One?, the first season in the show's history to have a sexually fluid cast. Learn about values he looks for in an ideal partner, advice he has for LGBTQ+ youth, what he’d like to be remembered for, and more! 

Name: Remy Duran

Age: 28

Preferred Pronouns: He/Him

Sexually Identifies As: Bisexual

What do you love about the LGBTQ+ community?

That we’re resilient, strong, and when we can come together as a family, I think that’s the best part. I think the concept of chosen family is queer and great. 

What are your thoughts on PrEP?

I love it. I think it’s amazing that queer people, especially queer men and trans women who are at risk for contracting HIV, can have this free-loving and without fearing HIV and the overbearingness of it. You can have sex more freely and without fear. 

What’s a song you consider to be an LGBTQ+ anthem?

"Thong Song" by Sisqo.

What’s advice you have for LGBTQ+ youth?

Don’t be afraid to be yourself and you’re never alone. Maybe in your small town, yes, but go on the internet, meet friends and build these long-distance friendships so you can realize you’re not alone. Someday you will have people around you. A family of LGBTQ people around you.

Do you believe in love?

Yes, absolutely.

What are values that you look for in an ideal partner?

A sense of humor, being non-judgmental, accepting, and someone who likes to have fun. 

Describe what being queer is like in 3-5 words. 

Tough but worth it.

Have you found your chosen family? How do they make you feel?

Yes I have, and I continue to find them more and more. I’m really good at making friends and adopting them into my family. It keeps growing and they make me feel invincible, like I can go through and get through anything because they have my back in any way that I need it.

What is a quality you find sexy?

A sense of humor.

Do you feel that people are as authentic online as they are in person? 

No, absolutely not. I feel like I’m more authentic in person because a tweet can only show so much of my personality. I’m louder than caps lock. Some people say I’m even more ridiculous in person than I am online.

What song makes you feel the most confident and makes you feel better about yourself?

"I Don’t Want It At All" by Kim Petras.

Did you ever/do you still feel uncomfortable holding another guy's hand in public?

I did when I wasn’t out yet. I knew that once I did it, there was no going back. But after I did it for the first time, I would do it in people’s faces, so now I’m never afraid. 

Fill in the blank: When I find someone I’m interested in, I ______.

Try not to fuck it up. 

What are deal breakers for you when dating someone?

Being judgmental and being someone who doesn’t know how to have fun

How much does your LGBTQ+ identity play into your overall identity?

I try not to make it the cornerstone of it, but it’s such an important part. I love being an unapologetic fag, but I also don’t want it to be my entire identity. I don’t necessarily wear it on my sleeve, but my shadow is a rainbow. 

Fill in the blank: In 5 years, I want to _________.

Have my shit together. I want to have the first volume of my comic book out and I want to have my brand up and running.

What’s your worst habit?

My inability to pay attention to one thing at a time.

How would you like to be remembered?

By my work. I was a designer first and I want to get back to that. I want to really be remembered for my designs, art, and creations. 

Are you the person you thought you’d grow up to be? Do you think younger you would be proud of older you?

I think I’ve exceeded my expectations. Younger me would be like, "Go off!"

What value/quality has being queer given you? What have you gained?

The quality of being able to be accepting of anything or any person. I think that comes from being queer and empathetic towards many different kinds of people and knowing that people don’t want to be judged, that they want to be accepted and understood. Acceptance without understanding is hollow. 

Keep up with Remy online over on his Twitter and Instagram, and watch the season finale of Are You the One? on Monday September 9 on MTV!