After years of wondering what’s next in the world of toys comes the heady news that SexToy.com will be leading a team to launch the first vibrating adult sex toy into space on October 8, 2011. Of course, we’re not sure if the gurus at SexToy.com asked NASA what Sally Ride might have snuck into her overnight bag, but so far the space agency isn’t disputing the company’s claim to be the winner of the horny space race.
The space craft will be equipped with a still and video camera that will send images of its best selling vibrator back to Earth. The company says that “rigorous experimentation” with the toy led scientists to develop a way to send the vibrator into space.
The vibrator will have to withstand temperatures of minus 75 degrees Fahrenheit and conditions 10 times over normal cosmic radiation. The vibrator will be fully exposed to the elements, reach an altitude of 100,000 feet (that’s 20 miles) above the Earth’s atmosphere, which is three times the cruising altitude of a typical jet plane.
Though the best adult sex toy companies are led by queer women (hello - Babeland, Good Vibrations, Smitten Kitten, need we go on?), it was apparently a man who thought of this space projection — and fans of Millionaire Matchmaker would recognize him. SexToy Dave (yes, that’s his name), CEO of CNV.com Inc., says of his inspiration behind the project, "I have always been into firsts and that is how I made my money. I was one of the first on the web selling sex toys, first to have an adult affiliate program, the first to make three appearances on Bravo’s hit show Millionaire Matchmaker and now the first online adult business with a space program."
For women without cable, or those averse to Matchmaker’s antics, SexToy Dave was a regular philanderer who had trouble keeping a girlfriend, in part, because many of his suitors did not like sex parties or the stripper pole in his front room. That only helped cement his rep, of course.
But, back to the historic toy in question: this post-Cold War space vibrator will be carried into space by a partially solar-powered, partially helium-filled balloon 8 feet wide, armed with a 1080p HD video camera, a 10MP still camera, two consumer cell phones running tracking software, and an experimental GPS unit. The balloon and vibrating bullet will travel through Jet stream winds of up to 100 miles per hour for up to three hours and achieve a total distance of up to 100 miles. SexToy will publish the photos on its new blog.
The upshot? The team hopes to retrieve the vibrator in fully functioning order. So far, they have not reported on what will be done with the, uh, member when it does get back to earth, though many lesbians hope it gets a hero’s welcome.
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