9 Reasons Why Butch/Femme Relationships Are the Hottest

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There's a lot of discussion these days about where all the butches have gone. This brilliant SheWired op-ed by Roey Thorpe is a definite must-read on the subject (as is my own piece about why we love butch women - yes, "Modesty" is my middle name). It's certainly true that a generous proportion of our community has eschewed the plaid and sports shirts in favor of a more androgynous style. But the butch will never die. And (IMHO) never is she more beautiful than when she has the Yin to her Yang hanging from her majestic muscly biceps.


9. Butch-femme couples turns heads

"Is it two girls? Is it a straight girl and a guy? What is that?" Hanging out as a butch-femme couple makes a big, bold, unequivocal statement. It's brave and it's not what most people expect to see when they're out at the hardware store on a Sunday afternoon. It really gives the straights something to think about. And that's never a bad thing.


8. It twists convention

To those who say it's "aping" heterosexual relationships - pah! If we wanted so badly to be in a male-female set-up, we would be. Butches want to be women dressed in a masculine style. They don't (for the most part) actually want to be men. If anything, the butch-femme dynamic challenges heterosexual relationship/gender models. Women aren't meant to want to look like men. Girly women aren't meant to want women who want to look like men. But they do it anyway! Hell yeah!


7. It confuses idiots

The above photo was used by Fox News to illustrate an article promoting traditional marriage. It's actually not a straight couple, but the lovely Stephanie Figarelle and Lela McArthur tying the knot. Oh, the lolz! Ah. It's a wonderful world sometimes, isn't it? Playing with people's perceptions, expectations and assumptions are all part of the territory when it comes to butch-femme relationships.



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