Viral 'Soulmate Dick' Tweet Proves the Straights Are Hilarious

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Heteros always say some really weird shit, and spending time on social media means we actually end up seeing some of it, rather than just locking ourselves in our queer social circles and leaving them to their foolishness.

A recent tweet from someone named TeresaAP98 really drove this home.

“your soulmate’s dick will fit inside like a puzzle piece. it’ll poke your cervix enough to be pleasurable, but not painful,” she wrote, retweeting an x-ray diagram someone else had posted of some conjoining genitals. “when they say God made your soulmate specifically for you, it includes sex.”

\u201cyour soulmate\u2019s dick will fit inside like a puzzle piece. it\u2019ll poke your cervix enough to be pleasurable, but not painful. when they say God made your soulmate specifically for you, it includes sex. \ndon\u2019t @ me.\u201d
— Amazonian Queen \ud83d\udc51 (@Amazonian Queen \ud83d\udc51) 1572541663

lollllll k girl.

But obviously everyone who uses their brain for things like "thinking" knows this is just some ridiculous str8 ppl shit, so we don’t even need to waste time refuting it. Honestly, even the girl who posted it has got to know how crazy it is. What really matters here are some of the excellent responses her nonsense drummed up to the surface.

\u201c@TeresaAP98 @IngeniousAch God said that?\u201d
— Amazonian Queen \ud83d\udc51 (@Amazonian Queen \ud83d\udc51) 1572541663

\u201c@TeresaAP98 Having premarital sex will lower the divorce rate. \u201cLet\u2019s just find out if we soul mate real quick\u201d\u201d
— Amazonian Queen \ud83d\udc51 (@Amazonian Queen \ud83d\udc51) 1572541663