Sapphic sex is vast and varied, from oral to fingering to frottage, there is something for everyone, but that also means it’s unlikely you are a master at everything.
That’s where our LGBTQ+ sex experts come in. They’ve taught you the basics of tribbing, but now you’re ready to become a certified tribbing sex god, and they have the tips and tricks to get you there.
Tribbing, where you grind or rub your vulvas together, falls under the frottage umbrella and is a big part of lesbian and sapphic sex, which is why you need to study and level up your skill set.
Now that you’ve got the basics down pat, prepare to up your game so that the queer women or trans or nonbinary partner you’re sexing up sees the face of god when you rub your bits together.
So whether you just passed Tribbing 101 and are ready to get your advanced degree or are a tribbing master looking for new sexy ideas to try, we’ve got you covered. To help you get even better at scissoring and other tribbing positions, we talked to sex educator Gabrielle Kassel for DatingAdvice.com, and Kai Korpak, a sex therapist and the assistant director at Best Therapies.
1. Different positions
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Now that you feel comfortable with tribbing, go from beginner to expert by experimenting with different positions. “Try positions other than ‘scissoring,” Korpak tells PRIDE. “You can try spooning, standing against a wall or door, T-position to name a few.”
2. Change up the speed
When you’re a newbie, the advice is often to take things slow, but now that you’re trying to reach the advanced level, try varying your speed. “Try ramping up the speed and tempo or match the mood of the music,” Korpak says. “Slowing down can also add some anticipation to each thrust.”
3. Try dildos
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While tribbing is all about rubbing your vulvas together, once you’ve mastered that, try adding penetration in too. With a double-ended dildo you can both be penetrated and trib at the same time. "If the dildo length is right for your bodies, your genitals will be able to meet in the apex,” Kassel explains. “Altogether, this means that your bodies get to enjoy a feel-good fullness and the genital-on-genital rubbing at the same time.” Kassel recommends like looking for one at Fun Factory or the Banana Split Shop.
4. Buy some sex furniture
Tribbing is all about getting the angles just right so that you get enough contact to make your toes curl. Using pillows, yoga tools, or even buying specialty sex furniture can take you and your partner to all new levels of pleasure. “Sex furniture, sex pillows and wedges, a sturdy headboard, leg spreader, yoga strap, and other a positioning tools can all go a long way for helping bring bodies into alignment in ways that make everything feel more comfortable and more pleasurable,” Kassel says.
5. Use a sex swing
This may seem like your taking a big swing (see what we did there?), but adding in a sex swing can make different positions possible and can set you up to play with power dynamics in a super sexy way. “Because a swing makes the suspended partner essentially weightless, it can introduce a power dynamic that some people find really erotic,” Kassel says. “It also makes certain positions more accessible for different body types or mobility ranges, since it eliminates the need to rely on strength or flexibility to stay aligned. Just make sure the swing you buy is properly rated for your body weight and securely installed.”
6. Add anal
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With tribbing, the vulva is really the star of the show, but adding in anal stimulation can up the pleasure. Try circling the opening or insert a butt plug or well-lubed finger to up the sensations. “Adding in some form of internal or external anal stimulation can heighten the overall sensation,” Kassel says. “The anal opening is jam-packed nerve endings, even light stimulation with an (anal-safe) vibrator or well-lubed finger can add a whole new sensation layer."
7. Don't forget aftercare
After any sexual experience, not just BDSM ones, you should be thinking about aftercare, which should include both emotional care for your partner and taking care of physical needs. Korpak says that you and your partner should stretch your hips, hydrate yourselves, and use lotion to soothe friction. “After the session use a lukewarm water and gently clean the area, pat yourself dry to avoid any additional friction to the area,” he recommends.
Sources cited:
Gabrielle Kassel, a sex educator for DatingAdvice.com.
Kai Korpak, a sex therapist and the assistant director at Best Therapies.
4. Cleansing after a fightBeatriz Vera/Shutterstock
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