Fisting can be one of the most intense sexual experiences you can have, but once you’ve tried it out and mastered the basics, you might not know what to do next.
But if you’re healthy and don’t have any health conditions or injuries that would make it dangerous, there are plenty of advanced fisting moves for you to try.
We’ve already established the basics of sapphic fisting: clip those nails, try one finger at a time, and don’t punch into someone with a closed fist (the duck bill method is your best bet), communicate more than you think you need to, make sure your fisting bottom is aroused, and for god sake, use lube liberally. Fisting is safe if done correctly, but there are a lot of ways it can go wrong, so make sure you educate yourself and stay sober for this one.
But if you’ve got all of that down and are ready to take things to the next toe-curling level, then our LGBTQ+ sex experts have got you covered. For tips to get your partner’s motor running, different positions to try, and what trans folks need to know, we talked to Kai Korpak, a sex therapist and the assistant director at Best Therapies; Dr. Shanna Katz Kattari, a sex educator and author of Pick-Your-Passion Approach for Hotter, Naughtier, More Adventurous Sex; and Carol Queen, Good Vibes staff sexologist, curator of the Antique Vibrator Museum, and co-author of The Sex & Pleasure Book: Good Vibrations Guide to Great Sex for Everyone.
1. Focus on small movements
Iryna Kalamurza/Shutterstock
Once you’ve gotten the basics down, you might be tempted to throw caution to the wind and start pumping your hand in and out quickly, but all you need are small, controlled movements for your partner to have a great time. “Also, fisting is not fucking,” Queen says. “A very turned-on experienced person can have a ‘fistfucking' experience, but fisting isn't generally about in-and-out thrusting, but the amazing intensity small movements in a very tight situation can elicit. Make your fisting experience meditative more than rough-sexy until you and your partner are very experienced.”
2. Don’t move side to side
Moving side to side is a sure way to hurt someone, so stay away and stick to those smaller movements we talked about. “Experienced fisters and bottoms may like to add more movement; in and out moves are safer than side to side ones, which can stretch the suspensory ligaments, and they don't bounce back,” Queen warns. “No moving your hand side to side like windshield wipers or a turn of the steering wheel. This is especially relevant to vaginal fisting, but be cautious about side to side in anal too—if the person has a prostate, some of this will feel good to them, probably.
3. Know your boundaries
You should have mastered getting enthusiastic consent when you were a beginner, now it’s time to get familiar with your own boundaries and those of your partner, so that you don’t push past either of your comfort levels. You don’t want anyone to get hurt physically or emotionally from your fisting play. “You may think you can just keep going because you have been doing this for years,” Korpak says. “Even advanced fisters can get injured because they are trying to do too much, too quickly, and too fast.”
4. Try role play
Now that you’ve take fisting 101 and are ready for more advanced moves, try role playing different sexy scenarios while you’re fisting. "Adding in roleplay such as doctor/patient or dominant/obedient roles can heighten arousal and help partners stay connected to the rhythm and pacing of the play,” Korpak suggests. “Roleplay is also great because it encourages clearer communication and intentional negotiation, since both partners agree on boundaries, tone, and expectations before the scene begins.”
5. Try different positions
Lopolo/Shutterstock
Don't be shy about experimenting with different positions. Get creative and remember to try adding things for support so that you can go all night long if you want. “You can also try different positions, including them on their knees, in a sling, on their back, and add pillows, wedges, etc. for support,” Dr. Kattari recommends.
6. Add in additional sensations
If you’ve already mastered fisting, why not start multitasking and add in other sensations too? “And naturally adding sources of pleasure—clitoral touch, cunnilingus or making out if your positions allow it, toys—are a great addition to fisting play,” Queen says.
7. Strengthen you Kegel and PC muscles
If you are the person being fisted, consider spending some time strengthening your Kegel or pubococcygeus muscles so that you can have more intense orgasms and learn to squeeze down on your partner’s hand. “Work on building strong kegel/PC muscles as a fistee, as that can support having stronger, longer and more intense orgasms,” Dr. Kattari recommends. “As a bonus, if you're interested in ejaculation/squirting/gushing, stronger kegel/PC muscles are where it is at. If you do kegel exercises (which can be done by people of all genders and sexes), the fister can feel it around their hand, which can be fun, and it might feel hot as hell for you too.”
8. Add in a little pain
LightField Studios/Shutterstock
Queen says that adding in some pain stimulation can be an exciting way to increase the sensations during fisting, especially for masochists. “Clamps, ‘tit torture' (as our atmospheric friends in the BDSM dungeon like to call it), targeted slapping (thighs, butt, etc.),” are all worth trying, she explains.
9. Don’t push past the pain
We know this might sound contradictory, but adding in nipple clamps and spanking is different than the fisting actually hurting. If the person being fisted is feeling pain or you see any blood (unrelated to a menstrual cycle), remove your hand immediately, and if the bleeding doesn’t stop, then go to the doctor or even the emergency room. “Make sure you aren’t pushing past pain,” Korpak says. “There is a difference between ‘oh, that is a good stretch’ and ‘ouch, that hurts.’ If you notice signs of pain, stop and slow down, making sure to reevaluate what you are doing before continuing.”
10. Protect the dolls
Everyone can enjoy fisting, whether you’re sapphic, a trans man or woman, nonbinary, gay or bi. But if you’ve had genital surgery, you might not be able to safely participate in vaginal fisting. “Fisting a neovagina can be especially risky,” Queen cautions. “It is generally not as stretchy as a cis vagina would be. Use EXTREME care. Protect the dolls, as the kids are saying."
11. Don't forget aftercare
Aftercare is always a good idea, but it’s especially important after an overwhelming sexual experience like fisting. “Fisting is an intense experience and can be very physically intense and emotionally vulnerable for both partners,” Korpak says. “The receiving partner may feel soreness and sensitivity as well as a rush of emotions as their body is still coming down from such deep pressure and stretching. Checking in with your partner, offering reassurance, cuddling, and gentle touch can help care for their nervous system and keep them grounded.”
Sources cited:
Kai Korpak, a sex therapist and the assistant director at Best Therapies.
Dr. Shanna Katz Kattari, a sex educator and author of Pick-Your-Passion Approach for Hotter, Naughtier, More Adventurous Sex.
Carol Queen, Good Vibes staff sexologist, curator of the Antique Vibrator Museum, and co-author of The Sex & Pleasure Book: Good Vibrations Guide to Great Sex for Everyone.
