Lesbian Astronaut Accused of First Ever Space Crime

Never say the gays aren’t pioneers!

Lesbian astronaut Anne McClain may have committed the first ever SPACE CRIME.

Her estranged wife, Summer Worden, has accused McClain of illegally accessing her bank account while she was up on the International Space Station. Worden filed complaints with the Federal Trade Commission and NASA’s Office of Inspector General, including an accusation of identity theft.

“I was pretty appalled that she would go that far,” Worden said, presumably referring to McClain accessing the account, rather than how literally far she went into outer space.

You may remember McClain has the astronaut who got kicked out of what was supposed to be the first ever all-female space walk due to NASA’s failure to have two whole suits that would fit women. Apparently, Worden had already made her accusations to NASA just prior to this happening, though a spokesperson for NASA confirmed they had no impact on the decision to pull McClain from the walk.

As for McClain, she admits checking the account, but maintains it wasn’t a crime. Her lawyer, Rusty Hardin, says McClain was merely checking to make sure there was enough money in the account to cover expenses for their kid. She claims she used a password she had previously been given by Worden and that she was never told to stop checking the account.

Now, apparently committing crimes in space isn’t a free-for-all sort of situation, which is kind of a bummer. The final frontier is apparently well regulated, at least as far as citizens of space-traveling countries on the planet earth are concerned.

But there haven’t been any previous accusations of crimes being committed in space, according to Mark Sundahl of the Global Space Law Center. Until now.

Guess it’s time to update the house motto, queers. Be gay, do crimes…IN SPACE.