3 Ways Queer Men Can Be Better Feminists and Support Women

Being a man, you shouldn’t need personal reasons to be a feminist. You shouldn’t need a daughter (as so many GOP men referenced while coming out against Donald Trump's horrifying statements about women in that Access Hollywood video that came out last month) to support the belief that women of all colors and religions deserve political, social, and economic equality. You shouldn’t need to be married to a woman, to realize that catcalling is inappropriate. You shouldn’t have to have a sister to realize that it’s ridiculous and offensive, that women, still in 2015, make 80 cents for every dollar their male counterpart makes.

You should be a feminist and have an innate desire to dismantle the patriarchy because you’re a good person and you believe in equality for all people, regardless of gender and race.

Now, equality for women and the dismantlement of the patriarchy will take away some of your privileges as men. And when privileged people lose some of their power in exchange for equity and equality, they often feel as if they, themselves, are being persecuted. They feel like they’re being oppressed, for the simple reason that something that was so ingrained in their way of life -- in this case their privilege, power, and a false sense of entitlement -- is now gone.

But that’s okay. The’s improvement. That’s something we, as queer men, can get over. We’re fine giving up some of the power we have as men, in order for women to be equal.

But we need to be active. We need to be vocal. We can’t be complacent, simply saying we support women’s rights. That’s like when the government sends their prayers out after a mass shooting. Instead of sending out your prayers, why don’t you pass some sensible gun laws instead? Your prayers don’t save lives.

Complacent bystanders are part of the problem, not the solution. As queer men, let’s be part of the solution.

Here are three things you can do, as a queer man, to actively support feminism.

1. Be inclusive of lesbians and transgender women

A number of (white) gay male activists like to focus on the needs of (white) gay men. While claiming to advocate for LGBT rights, it’s as if they’re advocating for G rights. Do not push forward the gay movement at the cost of the trans movement. Do not distance yourself from the trans movement. Be supportive of all members of the LGBTQ+ community. Not only acknowledge that their experience of oppression is different than yours, (because yes, being white and male, you are privileged), but also actively advocate for them. Not only tweet #Blacktranslivesmatter, but also go to #Blacklivesmatter rallies.

2. Call out gay men on their misogyny

I believe that some men who identify as gay aren’t necessarily attracted to men, they simply hate women so damn much, that they’re gay. I don’t think this is necessarily true, but it shows these men's loathing for women. These men say nasty things about women, in disparaging manners. These men need to be called out for their nonsense and chauvinism. Call. Them. Out.    

3. Be physically present during political movements

Get involved. Attend rallies, political protests, support groups. Actually be there in the flesh. Be an advocate. Remember, that doesn’t mean co-opting their struggle or speaking on behalf of women. Your job is to help create platforms so that they can share their own voice. Your job is to support.

As queer men, I strongly believe that we should not need a personal reason, connection, or motive for believing in equal rights for all women. I also know that there are some things we can do to be active and vocal feminists. So I say it’s high time we start doing them.

ZACHARY ZANE is a writer focusing on (bi)sexuality, gender, dating, relationships, and identity politics. Subscribe to his YouTube channel to hear him discuss all things related to sex and dating.