13 Things I Learned While Attending My First Gay Orgy

13 Things I Learned While Attending My First Gay Orgy

You’re probably thinking one of two things right now: “Wow, sounds sexy!” or “Wow, you’re a slut.”

Well, I’m here to tell you that neither of those things are really true, but my experience at a planned sex party seemed like one that needed to be shared. A gay sex party is an invite-only event where like-minded people who share similar attractions gather to engage in adult fun. 

These are definitely not the finite rules of sex parties (obviously), but this list will help give you a good idea of what you’re getting into if you accept the invitation. 

**EDITOR'S NOTE: The writer is a trusted PRIDE contributor and asked to remain anonymous for this story. He wouldn't want future employers (or his grandma) reading about this exploit. But we couldn't let these lessons go to waste.

You get invited, you don’t invite yourself

Honestly, I have no idea how you find out about these things other than an invite on Grindr or a recommendation from a friend (mine was the latter).  

You go through a pretty rigorous picture submitting process

Okay, not that rigorous, but they do make you submit the usual head and torso pics, then make you confirm your identity by asking you to perform some sort of innocent act like writing today's date on a piece of paper and sending a pic with it. Not even so much to make sure that you’re "hot," but to make sure you fit the demographic of that party. 

It starts very similarly to an everyday house party

Many parties enforce a “no-clothes policy” where you must check your clothes in at the door, however, at this particular event, everyone started clothed with an open bar, mingling, music, talking...then people start making out, and you know the rest. 

They supply everything

Condoms, lube, poppers, full bar, snacks, water...what more can a boy want?

No drugs allowed

They are strict on no drugs, no STDs, no barebacking. 

It’s awkward, but everyone knows it’s awkward, so it’s okay

Everyone is respectful and chatty and trying to make it as unweird as possible. 

If your clothes are off, you’re fair game

Once your clothes come off, it’s a bit of a free for all and it can be hard to keep track of all the bodies in the room. When it comes down to it, though, it's your body, your choice, so make sure you let the people you're playing with know what you are and aren't comfortable doing.

You’re probably going to see someone you know

It’s a small, gay world out there.  

Actual sex doesn’t actually happen that much

At least at this particular orgy. I can imagine it’s different elsewhere, but it was mostly 3rd base and below. 

It’s never as sexy as you think it’s going to be

For as rigorous as you think the selection process is, some of the guys are just not your type, and you kinda just have to deal with it. 

You can come and go as you want

They give a time span that the party goes from and you are welcome to arrive and depart whenever. 

It’s really difficult to pay attention to who’s doing what

The best (and not the sexiest way) to describe the activity-taking place is a large pit of flesh. It’s hard to understand who’s doing what at any given time.

Planned orgies are the best

Personal experience shows that showing up blind to a sexual encounter isn’t always the best. Stick to orgies where you know who’s coming so you know the participants taking place. It’s safer, it’s a bit sexier, and it’s more intimate.