5 Things You Miss Most Post Breakup and How to Move Past Them

I recently broke up with my partner of a year. While we loved each other more than anything, and we both were willing to do anything for each other, the relationship just wasn’t working. Neither of us was happy. It was the first time in my adult life that I realized love doesn’t always conquer all. The realization was depressing, and after the breakup, I couldn’t help but miss some things about my partner, and also things about being in a serious relationship with someone I deeply cared for.

I know I’ll survive. My partner will too, and I honestly do believe that we’ll be friends down the line. That said, I’m trying to speed up the grieving process. So this piece is more for me than it is for you.

Here are 5 things you miss most after a breakup, and how to move past them:

1. Cuddling

Boy, do I miss it. Fifty times more than sex. I’m not one to cuddle with friends; it’s a little too intimate for me, so there are two things I do now. First, I see friends with dogs and cuddle the living shit out of them. Second, I bought a body pillow. I know it sounds a little pathetic, but it’s nice having something to hold onto on those lonely nights. 

2. Stupid everyday texts

During the day, I would send my bae texts all the time. Stupid things like, I’m sleepy and miss you! Just deadlifted over 300 lbs. Killed my presentation. Within seconds, I’d get a response, That’s awesome, Zach! I’m so proud. I miss that. Instead, I now spread my texts among friends and family. It’s still important to have people celebrate in your accomplishments. It’s also a way to check in with friends and family and become closer with them.

3. Being asked how your day went

Every day we either spoke on the phone or in person and asked about each other’s days. We’d ramble on about nothing. It sucks not having someone ask about your day. It also sucks not hearing about the person you love’s day. Solution: FRIENDS. Start calling up all those friends who live in other cities who you’ve been meaning to call forever. Call up your grandparents. God knows they definitely would love to hear about your day.

4. Sex

Well this one is up to you. If you’re someone who only sleeps with a guy or girl once get to know them, you might be out of luck for a while. Maybe it’s time you bought a dildo… If you’re someone who’s not opposed to more casual encounters, you have the Internet. You have apps. Go crazy.

5. Lazy Sundays

I’m a time shamer. I feel guilty when I spend an evening watching TV or lying in bed. I feel as if I should always be doing something. I’m a writer, so why am I not writing? Why am I watching reruns of It’s Always Sunny instead of reading an inspiring novel? When I was with my boo, I never felt guilty about lazy Sundays, even though we’d literally just watch TV together. There’s something about doing nothing with someone else that makes it more acceptable. The solution to this: Get over it. You’re allowed to do nothing. You’re allowed to relax. You’re allowed to take some time to yourself and watch reruns of whatever the hell you want. Yes, life is short, but that doesn’t mean you need to be productive all the damn time. You do you.