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For the man who wants his stocking extra stuffed this Christmas!
While some guys like to eat honey-glazed ham on Christmas, others would rather get spit-roasted. This, my kinky friends, is a gift guide for the more adventurous queers who fall in the latter group. From a hands-free masturbation sleeve that stimulates deepthroating, to a butt plug that simultaneously rims and penetrates, this list is of sex toys is for all my proud pigs looking to take their sex lives to the new level!
1. The "Caesar" vibrating butt plug and cock ring from Lyps ($24.69)
There is one toy Lyps gave me, which, I’m not going say changed my life, but that definitely changed my sex life. It’s called the "Caesar" and it’s a vibrating anal plug and cock ring. This is for all vers bottoms out there who find themselves topping significantly more than they’d like. Or any top out who wants to orgasm like they’ve never orgasmed before. By hitting numerous erogenous zones with one of 10 different vibration speeds, your body feels nothing but pleasure. Also, it’s easy to clean and somehow only $25.
2. The MotorBunny starter pack ($899)
MotorBunny is the crème de la crème of sex toys, but it costs you a pretty penny. That said, it is probably the most famous straddle-style personal pleasure machine with a classic ride-on-top design. If you’re a bottom with some dough to spare (and some spare space in your apartment) I’d say go for it. Embrace your inner cowgirl. Â
3. The Autoblow 2+XT ($159.95)
The Autoblow 2+XT is a hands-free (!!) masturbation device that puts all fleshlights to shame. I have the older edition, but the new one came out in August. Now, the Autoblow 2+XT has a 5-arm penis gripper that is 50% tighter. The only problem with this guy is that it feels lackluster to masturbate without it. For that reason, I only whip it out for special occasions to not become dependent on it. They also have a pretty hilarious and informative video you can watch that answers all your questions on their site.
4. The CannaMojo (~$10 per dose)
With 10 mg of THC in each capsule, CannaMojo is a Viagra-like supplement that actually works. It will also get you a teency bit high, so this is the perfect gift for your stoner boyfriend who loves to smoke before having sex. You'll benefit too, because your boyfriend will be a rock hard all-star in bed! (FYI, it takes about 40 minutes to work, so plan accordingly.)
5. Banana Golds condoms (12 pack for $15)
Condoms, but make it fashion. That’s what Banana Golds condoms are all about! Kind of shocking that no one has developed gold condoms before (at least to my knowledge). I mean, if you want to f*ck like a god, you should have a penis that looks like Adonis, right?
6. The We-Vibe Pivot vibrating ring ($109)
While the corner store bodega may sell a vibrating cock ring next to their natural Viagra supplements (which, by the way, don’t work), I’d recommend buying something of higher quality. We-Vibe's Pivot vibrating ring is the gold standard of cock rings. It’s easily cleanable, not going to malfunction, and doesn’t require those weird circular batteries than have never actually worked right. While $109 may sound pretty steep for a cock ring, it’s not that much when you consider it has the potential to save your sex life (and relationship)! God knows it’s a lot cheaper than couples therapy.
7. b-Vibe’s Rimming Plug 2 ($100)
I have not tried this product out, although I just bought one because it is the first and only premium, vibrating plug that creates the sensation of being rimmed through rotating beads while also penetrating you with a powerful tip vibration. Who needs a boyfriend, anyway?
