5 Things That Pissed Us Off This Week: Mormons, Mozilla, and Mississippi

Welcome back to our weekly round-up of the most infuriating bits of anti-LGBT rhetoric to grace our news feeds in the past seven days. This week, American homophobes were on a roll, giving us plenty to choose from — our only problem was picking only five outrageous stories to share here. Read on to see what made the cut, but expect a healthy dose of snark in the following pages — sometimes it's the only way we can get through the day. 

5. Mozilla Can't Win: First They're Too Antigay, Now They're Not Homophobic Enough

It's been a hell of a past couple weeks for open source advocate and nonprofit tech company Mozilla, creators of the popular Web browser Firefox. After appointing Brendan Eich, inventor of JavaScript and cofounder of Mozilla, as the corporation's new CEO March 24, the progressive interwebs had a collective conniption over Eich's $1,000 donation to the campaign that passed California's Proposition 8, which revoked marriage equality in the state. After ten days of online outrage — that included LGBT Mozilla employees protesting, half the board resigning, and LGBT app developers and even dating site OKCupid announcing boycotts — Eich formally resigned on Thursday. 

The Mozilla Foundation's executive chairwoman, Mitchell Baker, published a heartfelt apology on the company's blog Thursday, acknowledging that the progressive company didn't live up to its own standards, and didn't respond fast enough to criticism from its members and users that Eich's politics were incompatible with holding the top spot at a company the New York Times described as "an activist group."

But just as LGBT folks and their allies were re-installing Firefox onto their desktops, conservatives were disavowing the browser, following the advice of the National Organization for Marriage president Brian Brown, who over the weekend urged all those "traditional marriage" supporters to uninstall the homo-loving browser. 

Mozilla's decision to essentially force out its antigay CEO had all sorts of homo-haters up in arms, and they took to Firefox Input, the browser's feedback forum, to express their totally reasonable frustration. Flooding the to the point that 86 percent of the comments were negative, outraged REAL Americans posted useful feedback like "Gays stick their penis in another man's poop and they get infested with diseased fecal matter. Gays carry diseases. Gays are disgusting."

Other choice selections slammed chairwoman Baker, because, you know, she has a first name that's not particularly feminine so — she's not a woman! "Mitchell Baker, Executive Chairwoman Mitchell is a she, or a he, or an altered both, but not a Michelle," wrote one incensed former Firefoxer. "Maybe a MOOCHelle."

Other commenters were a little more clever — almost. A re-imagining of the acronym for the LGBT community that was picked up in several comments claims those letters stand for "Lets Get Bullying Today."

Then, of course, there were the outright death threats… Which the progressive folks at Mozilla totally should have seen coming, seeing as how they kowtowed to the gay mafia. (Hey, did you know we have an underground crime syndicate?!)

"God hates fags, you sick, twisted freaks," reminded one thoughtful user. "Maybe you should all pour gasoline on yourselves and light a match." 

Another really cut to the chase by informing Mozilla "What sadistic, freedom crushing asshats you are. What hypocrites. The gay gestapo…how does that moniker suit you? It is accurate, rest assured. Again, you suck."

And lest anyone think that equality-minded folks are becoming a majority in this country, think again! "If you think the citizens of this country are going to keep putting up with a bunch of fags pushing us around, you are a fool," wrote one commenter. "The fags need to get back in the closet and you need to join them you hypocrites," wrote another. "Ii have uninstalled all instances of firefox on my machines and encouraged all my friends to do the same tell the homos i will say and do as i please as is my god given right."

We presume that the rational, logical folks leaving these comments will, of course, also be boycotting all products and browsers produced by the blatantly pro-LGBT Apple, Google, Hewlett Packard, Sun Microsystems, Yahoo, Microsoft, eBay, and Cisco, to name a few. Luckily, antigay Americans can still use Intel products guilt-free, as gay statistician Nate Silver revealed that Intel was the only Fortune 500 tech company in Silicon Valley to have a majority of its employees donate in favor of Prop. 8. Of course, those Intel products might be tough to use if you can't ethically use any of the computers that rely on Intel processors. Because if you do, then the homo-fascists win. Obviously. 

4. Reminder: Mormons Still Don't Want You to Get Gay-Married

Despite what some see as a shift in tone over recent years, a leader in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, whose practitioners are known as Mormons, reiterated the faith's opposition to same-sex marriage at a biannual conference in Salt Lake City Saturday. 

Although many lay Mormons have softened their opposition to homosexuality in recent years and are working to reconcile damage done within Mormon families with an LGBT member — several contingents have marched in LGBT Pride parades around the country — Apostle Neil L. Andersen reminded the faithful that God's plan was for one man and one woman to be united in marriage at the Church's national conference Saturday. And he's an apostle, so you know he's speaking The Truth. 

"While many governments and well-meaning individuals have redefined marriage, the Lord has not," said Andersen, an Apostle of the Quorum of the Twelve, the second-highest governing body of the church. "He designated the purpose of marriage to go far beyond the personal satisfaction and fulfillment of adults, to more importantly, advancing the ideal setting for children to be born, reared and nurtured."

Andersen also encouraged his fellow Mormons to remain steadfast in their convictions against what he said is an increasingly forceful pro-equality movement on social media. He reported a story about a Mormon woman who shared her opposition to same-sex marriage on Facebook, then refused to take her comments down, even after backlash on the social networking site. 

Similarly, Andersen expressed special concern for church members who "struggle with same-sex attraction." The Associated Press reports Andersen said he admires those who confront such a "trial of faith, and stay true to the commandments of God. But everyone, independent of their decisions and beliefs, deserves our kindness and consideration," he said. Mormon doctrine dictates that attraction to someone of the same sex is not a sin, but acting upon those attractions is sinful. The church therefore mandates that gay and lesbian Mormons live a celibate life to remain in God's good graces. 

See, you're totally saved, LGBT Mormons! You just can't get married to the person you love, or act on your attractions to that person, but you won't be totally excommunicated from the church, so… victory? And hey, in a true mark of tolerance, the Church is no longer officially recommending that gay and lesbian Mormons marry a person of the opposite sex just to make God happy. You're welcome. 

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3. Mississippi Gets Even More Antigay

Despite having one of the highest concentrations of same-sex couples raising children in any state in the union, no one would claim that Mississippi is a sanctuary for LGBT people. Marriage inequality is written into the state constitution, and the minuscule existing nondiscrimination protections don't extend to sexual orientation or gender identity and, as of last week, individuals and businesses can refuse service to LGBT people if they claim that serving them would "substantially burden" the individual's "religious exercise."

Republican Gov. Phil Bryant signed the bill into law last Thursday, apparently able to put his signature on the bill — which also adds the words "In God We Trust" to the state seal — without a touch of irony. As MSNBC's Melissa Harris-Perry brilliantly pointed out, despite numerous similarities to Arizona's SB1062, which was vetoed by the state's GOP governor after nationwide outcry, the Mississippi legislation passed both legislative chambers and the made it onto the governor's desk with little public outrage. That's likely due to the law's vague, legalistic wording, which makes it hard to ascertain what, exactly, the legislation does. But where the text of the law is unclear, the title of the bill makes clear who it's really aiming to protect. 

It's called the "Religious Freedom Restoration Act," because, if religious liberty was under attack anywhere in the U.S., it was definitely the dark red, largely right-wing state of Mississippi, where an estimated 80 percent of residents self-identify as Christian. And just to be clear, the legislation provides anyone — individual or business — the legal cover of refusing to abide by any law that they feel infringes on their free exercise of religion. While the text doesn't mention the words "sexual orientation," "gender identity," or even "same-sex marriage," it's pretty clear the authors didn't intend the law to be utilized by devout Muslims seeking a reprieve from work to partake in the daily call to prayer. Now, a God-fearing photographer whose entire moral compass would collapse if they were "forced" to take a photo of a loving same-sex couple? Yeah, that's more up Mississippi's alley. 

In signing the bill, it seems the governor agreed with a local news anchor who was tired of all the coverage LGBT issues were receiving. That anchor suggested that perhaps all those pesky homos who keep demanding that their government treat them equally should just "take a gaycation." 

Journalism aside: Don't you just hate when you have to report the news that's happening, even if doing so forces you to expand your narrow world-view? Sigh. The trials and tribulations of a straight, cisgender, white, male broadcast news anchor. 

2. Lesbian Moms Claim Their Daughter's Essay About What Great Parents They Are Censored From Elementary School Project

When 12-year-old Caitlin Theriault of Auburn, Maine's Park Avenue Elementary School got a class assignment to write a persuasive essay that everyone in the class could write responses to, she knew exactly what she wanted to write: Why it's awesome to have two moms. 

But when Caitlin's pitch wasn't included on a list for students to choose from, she and her parents wanted to know why.

"We were disappointed, at that point in the school, but then in the teacher," mom Erica Ackley told Portland's WMTW. "We've come a long way as a society, but being at school, we should not have to feel that that's not OK. School should be a safe space."

The district superintendent contends the exclusion wasn't meant to be discriminatory, but rather that it didn't fit into the framework of the assignment. 

"There was absolutely no intent by the teacher to discriminate," superintendent Katy Grondin said. "The topic was supposed to be broad enough for the whole class to write about." She noted that other pitches left off the list included more sports-focused topics, like steroid usage in professional athletics.

Nevertheless, the equality-minded middle-schooler has been moved to a different English class, where she's been guaranteed an opportunity to write the essay when the prompt requires a more personal subject. 

We look forward to reading that essay. 

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1. Sex Offender Allegedly Tries to Burn Alive Lesbian Couple and Their Eight Children 

There really isn't any snark to be added to this story, because it's outrageous and horrifying all on its own. 

A Miami man has been arrested for setting fire to the home of his neighbors, a lesbian couple and their eight children, our sibling publication The Advocate reported.

Braulio Valenzuela-Villanueva, a 73-year-old registered sex offender, faces charges of attempted second-degree murder, arson, and committing a hate crime for attempting to burn down the trailer last Saturday.

The family did not have smoke detectors, but they escaped the fire after hearing a neighbor shouting in reaction to the blaze.

"The reason they say is because I’m a lesbian," Norma Beteta Fonseca told the Miami Herald. "But this is not an excuse for me. I never had a problem with him. I don’t understand. This is crazy. I don’t understand why."

Surveillance videos show the suspect setting fire to a mattress that was leaning against the family's trailer home, before rushing back to his home. When the fire became worse, police said, he returned to the family's residence to "casually" observe the fire. 

Neighbors attempted to keep the flames at bay until firefighters arrived, and thankfully, there were no injuries reported. 

During police questioning, Valenzuela-Villanueva said he didn't start the fire, but stated that he "despised the two adult victims for the simple fact that they were lesbians," the police report notes. The arrest affidavit also says that "every time he saw them kissing he felt a deep repugnance and in his opinion, they did not deserve children.”

Several sex offenders were removed from the River Park Trailer Court last year, because they had been allegedly living there illegally, according to the Herald. The offenders where taken to live in a warehouse district, because county law prohibits those on probation from living within 2,500 feet of a park, school, day care center, playground, or anywhere else children regularly gather. Valenzuela-Villanueva was not on probation.