There are two types of bottoms in this world. One: The ones who lie there. Two: The ones who run the show. A lot of people think bottoming implies submissiveness, but that’s far from the truth. You can be a dominant power bottom. A power bottom (PB) who takes the lead.
Now no matter what you do, the top is going to enjoy himself, even if you’re just lying there. Your tight behind is always going to feel incredible. But there are some ways, to make it just that much more incredible.
So if you want to take control of your sex life, and become a beastly power bottom, here are 20 tips.
Since you’re trying to generate power, you need firm support to lean on. The best thing is a wall or bed frame. Scootch up super close to it. If it’s a wall, but your elbow down on it. If it’s a bed frame, grab hold, and use that is a means to ground you while you push that booty of yours all up on him.
Tell him to stop moving when he’s on his back, and slowly move up and down his penis. SQUEEZE. When’s he not moving, it’s easier for you to clench and release. He will literally not know what hit him. The squeezing of your anus is one of the most underrated and underused tricks in a bottom’s book. Guys like tight holes. Squeezing your hole makes it tight. It’s literally as simple as that.
I’ve now had many people watch me have sex (I’m a little bit of exhibitionist). One thing I constantly hear afterwards is “holy shit that was amazing.” I’m like, “Yes, duh, thank you,” but also, “I really need to speak up more during sex.” At which point I scream, “Yes!! It’s so important." When I bottom, I’m constantly talking—telling him to go faster, slower, not to move, choke me harder, slap my ass, switch positions. That’s what makes sex fun! There’s no way he can know what you like. Even if you’re sleeping with him a bunch, your moods change! There’s no way for him to guess what you’re in the mood for.
You need to loosen up. That’s why there’s foreplay. Don’t immediately hop on it and start aggressively bouncing. You need to take your time. Give your man (and butthole) some time to -- as Troy Sivan likes to say -- bloom.
Get one of those dildos that stick to the wall and work it. You can also put in on your bed and ride it too. Practice being the BP champion you are. This will also help you figure out what you enjoy. Do you like long and thin? Short and thick? Long and thick? What points inside your anal wall make you squirm? Do you like vibrations? Yes, part of being a power bottom is for his pleasure, but don’t forget your own. Besides, the more into it you are, the more into it he will be.
It’s 2018. You should know the difference between silicone based and water based lubes. (If you don’t, no worries, just head on over this way.) Gun oil. That’s my weapon of choice. Lather your insides up and get ready to gyrate. Also, while this may be bottoming 101, it’s still worth mentioning. You can never use too much lube. Your bed should be like a slip-n-slide when you're all set and done!
I’m not saying shave your butt completely (unless you want to), but it can’t be a forest down there. He needs to be able to find your hole. Or, screw it! Let it be full of hair. God knows I and plenty of other guys like a furry hole too! So do whatever the hell makes you feel most comfortable.
There are SO many more positions than you ever thought possible. Porn is limited in the positions they do, because people like to see the physical act of penetration, but because of this, a lot of people don’t realize how many cool positions are out there. My favorite position when I’m power bottoming is a variation of cowboy when I put my feet in front of me, arch my torso and back, and ride.
If you want to be a true BP, you gotta be able to touch your toes. You need to be able to put your legs behind your head and crunch into a pretzel. One of the most annoying things that happens during sex is needing to change a position you’re enjoying so much because you’re getting sore. There also may be positions that he’s into that you won’t be able to do unless you’re flexible. So stretch, stretch, stretch.
You can’t PB every single night otherwise you will destroy your poor anus. You’ll also be at high risk to get anal fissures, which any bottom can tell you, is not fun at all. Rest up. Give your behind some time off otherwise it will not be happy with you.
As the wondrous musical Avenue Q taught America, you can be as loud as the hell you want, when you’re making love. So moan, grunt, and shout. When you’re going at it, be vocal! It’s sexy. However, make sure to be authentic. No one likes someone who’s being overly performative, shouting out the top of their lungs if it seems disingenuous.
Practice does make perfect. You’re not going to become a power bottom overnight. You need to work on your craft. You need to practice. So lube up, grab a partner, and get down on it. Then find another partner, and hop on his dick too! Screw it, find two partners at once. Then it’s a real party right there!