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    13 Problems Every Power Bottom Can Relate To

    Ana ValensAndrew J. Stillman
    | 02/25/23

    13 Problems Every Power Bottom Can Relate To


    13 Problems Every Power Bottom Deals With

    13 problems every power bottom deals with

    Shutterstock

    Being a power bottom has its perks. I mean, getting to receive while leading the rhythm? Please. Who doesn't love that?

    Of course, that doesn't necessarily mean the power bottoms have it easy. In fact, they've got plenty of problems to deal with. Here are 13 every power bottom can relate to.

    1. Learning the basics

    books

    Everyone has to be a baby top or bottom one way or another. Same with being a power bottom, too. You gotta learn from scratch how to lead while receiving, and there's nothing wrong with that. But it's still something you gotta work through over time, especially if you're not used to being on the bottom.

    Photo: Mikhail Pavstyuk (Unsplash)

    2. Assuming you're submissive

    gay man with submissive leather mask

    Shutterstock

    Just because you like to take on the bottom role doesn’t automatically mean you’re the submissive one. Along with stigma, power bottoms oftentimes deal with problems of being forced into submission when they want to be the ones in control.

    3. Who brings what?

    backpack-phone-man

    It's usually obvious who brings the lube, condoms, and toys if you're on the top or bottom. But when you're a power bottom, that line can get murky. It's not uncommon to be a little confused about who should be responsible for certain things, so make sure to communicate clearly with your playmate.

    Photo: Clem Onojeghuo (Unsplash)

    4. Keeping it clean!

    keeping_it_clean

    If you're a top converting to the power bottom ways, this one might be a little daunting. Yes, you gotta remember to keep yourself clean. No need to go overboard, just make sure you wash up nicely and do any prep you need to do.

    Photo: Seth Doyle (Unsplash)

    5. Watching what you eat

    gay men eating together

    Shutterstock

    The digestive system is a real thing, and timing is everything when it comes to being on the bottom. From making sure you fit into a “window” of accessible time to bottom to keeping up with your fiber, the bottom diet is one of the most common grievances.

    6. Pressure to perform

    gay men dancing and showing off

    Shutterstock

    It’s bad enough as it is that you’re always expected to be cleaned and presentable, but when you factor in the competition, it makes the pressure to perform that much worse.

    7. Your playmate assumes the backdoor is open for business

    the_backdoor

    Maybe it's just not your thing. Or maybe you're having a rough day down there and you don't want to receive. A good partner or playmate will respect your boundaries and honor that. But even dealing with the assumption really sucks ass.

    Photo: Steinar La Engeland (Unsplash)

    8. Directing him or her to the right spot

    right-spot

    No wait, just a little more to the left. Wait, no, your other left. Too far. Not far enough. OK, stop there. Good. Finally. Phew.

    Photo: Shirly Niv Marton (Unsplash)

    9. Going too fast

    going_too_fast

    Woah, honey, it's not a race! Slow down over there.

    Photo: Agberto Guimaraes (Unsplash)

    10. ...or too slow

    turtle

    Sorry, are you in me yet? Zzzzzzzzz

    Photo: Jeremy Bishop (Unsplash)

    11. It's still a lot of work

    sweaty-man

    Laying down as a power bottom means you can relax a little bit more than you would propping yourself up as a top. But there's still a ton of work involved, especially if you're taking a hands-on approach with your partner.

    Photo: Christopher Campbell (Unsplash)

    12. Being told you're really just a top

    gay couple arguing in bed

    Shutterstock

    No, power bottoms play a very specific type of role: They receive on the bottom while leading or controlling the flow of play. There are so many different dynamics involved. Even if, you know, sometimes it's fun to switch up roles.

    Photo: Cristian Newman (Unsplash)

    13. The stigma

    easy-a

    For the stupidest reasons, stigma happens all the time (like when it happened to Emma Stone's Olive character in Easy A), and power bottoms get stigmatized for being on the bottom. It's not fair for a lot of reasons, because no one should be shamed for what role they play and what they enjoy during sex, but it's especially unfair for power bottoms, because there's so much work involved to take control on the bottom.

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