5 Things That Pissed Us Off This Week: Rand Paul Wants to Duel Maddow, 'Rape-Proof' Underwear, and More...

Welcome to SheWired's weekly round-up of the most infuriating bits of news from the past seven days, where we provide a retrospective on the most heinous, crazy-making bits of anti-LGBT news that came across our radar last week. Our hope in doing this isn't only to darken the skies, but also to sound the alarm about the kind of idiocy that passes for "legitimate commentary" these days. Expect a healthy dose of snark in the following paragraphs — sometimes it's the only way we can get through the day.

5. Homophobic Thugs Invade Russian LGBT Youth Group with Gun and Baseball Bat

On Sunday, between 25 and 30 LGBT Russian youth and their allies were gathered at a private community center for the weekly "Rainbow Coffee Party," an inclusive community discussion hosted by HIV and STD prevention organization LaSky in St. Petersburg. 

On Sunday night, two masked men entered the community center claiming to be looking for a friend, and then one opened fire with a gun while the other brandished a baseball bat, injuring a young man — who was transported to the hospital with a bullet lodged in his eye — and a young woman who was beaten by the assailant wielding the baseball bat. 

But just in case this heinous, senselessly violent attack on minors gathering in a private space wasn't enough to make your blood boil, here's the real kicker: a spokesperson with LaSky said that Russian police did respond to the attack, but immediately left because they saw no evidence of a crime... 

Other than two people who were bruised and bleeding? That victim with a bullet in his eyeball probably just tripped and fell onto the bullet, right? 

Clearly, it doesn't "get better" for LGBT people in Russia. 

4. Chelsea Manning Will Have to Sue the Government for Her Medically Necessary Care

The attorney for Chelsea Manning, the former Army intelligence officer convicted of leaking classified government documents to the website Wikileaks in 2010, says he's prepared to sue the U.S. Army if it continues to deny his client the medically necessary treatment she needs for her gender transition. 

Manning came out as transgender just days after she was sentenced to 35 years in a men's military prison in Fort Leavenworth, Kan., but the Army that's incarcerating Manning is thus far refusing to give her access to hormone therapy or gender-affirming surgery that her doctor has deemed medically necessary. 

Her attorney, David E. Coombs, issued a statement last week promising to represent Manning in her legal fight for the medical care she requires, though he continues to hope the military will "do the right thing" and allow Manning to undergo treatment, legally change her name, and wear women's clothing while she serves her sentence.

In an odd turn of events, military officials have denied Manning the right to treatment or to wear women's clothes, but have said they will allow her to legally change her name and begin referring to her by that name after the legal process is complete. 

Find more outrage on the following pages…

3. Sen. Rand Paul Wants to Duel 'Hater' Rachel Maddow For Calling Out His Plagiarism

Demonstrating that ever-present southern kindness, Kentucky Sen. Rand Paul has turned his baby blues on out MSNBC anchor Rachel Maddow, after the pundit reported on several documented instances of plagiarism in the Senator's speeches. 

As Maddow first reported — which was then corroborated and elaborated upon by BuzzFeed — Paul has an uncanny tendency to lift text directly from Wikipedia pages when he references popular films in his speeches. (Which, sidetone: he does with shocking regularity.) When Maddow first reported the allegations, Sen. Paul's office was mum, then eventually issued a reply that makes us think Paul doesn't actually understand what plagiarism is. 

But after the dogged anchor refused to back off the senator's well-documented, provable and repeated instances of plagiarism, Paul finally addressed the anchor directly. Almost. 

Speaking with ABC's George Stephanopolous on Sunday, Paul called Maddow a "hater" and said he'd like to settle this dispute the old fashioned way — with a duel to the death. 

"If dueling were legal in Kentucky, if they keep it up, you know, it would be a duel challenge," said Paul. "But I can't do that, because I can't hold office in Kentucky then." 

We're sure Paul's hesitance has nothing to do with the fact that Maddow is probably pretty handy with a pistol — her first date with her partner took place on a firing range, as she told Andy Cohen earlier this year. 

But then again, as ThinkProgress notes, the statute that Paul is referencing in saying he can't hold office and duel only refers to state politicians. As a federal official, Paul is technically clear to take aim at Maddow at a mutually agreed upon time, location, and with a weapon of Maddow's choosing. We hope she'd pick words, since she's clearly already soundly beaten the Senator in this war of words. Watch Maddow's latest coverage of Paul's plagiarism below. 

2. Hawaiian Police Union President Would Rather Die Than Support Marriage Equality

But that doesn't mean that he doesn't totally respect his gay and lesbian family members. Of course. 

Tenari Maafala, an active-duty police officer who is also the president of Hawaii's police union, told state representatives considering the Hawaii Marriage Equality Act of 2013, that as a law enforcement official, he's obligated to enforce state law, but if marriage equality passes in the Aloha State, he won't be able to do that. 

"The bottom line is this," said Maafala, 52, a self-described Hawaiian Samoan. "The day I retire, and bills like this are introduced, I will never, ever, honor such law. You would have to kill me to disrespect and dishonor my father in heaven; You would have to kill me to impose these types of laws upon my children and my nieces and my nephews."

Unless, of course, some of those children or nieces or nephews turn out to be gay, right? What will you do then, officer? 

Watch this choice highlight from the absurd amount of anti-LGBT testimony that's still going on in Hawaii… Where lawmakers have heard more than 50 hours of testimony on the proposed law since Thursday, with at least another 2,000 people still slated to testify. Conservatives are aiming to run a "Citizen's Filibuster" in hopes of derailing the law, but advocates remain optimistic that the bill has the votes needed to make it to Democratic Gov. Neil Abercrombie's desk. 

Watch Maafala's comments below.