Scroll To Top
Celebrities

Alan Cumming reflects on his 20-year relationship & honestly its so INSPIRING

Alan Cumming
Jamie Lamor Thompson/Shutterstock

“Especially in gay years- that’s like 80.”

@politebotanist

Stars! They’re just like us! Alan Cumming had his husband walk through the door as he was in the middle of an interview withEntertainment Weekly — incredibly relatable for anyone who has worked from home. As the two men greeted each other, it was segued perfectly into Cumming’s feelings on his relationship, and they are truly heartwarming.

Speaking with the publication for their 2024 Pride issue, actor Alan Cumming had some heartwarming things to say about his partnership. Cumming, the first openly bisexual cover star in the history of the EW Pride issue has been with his husband, visual artist Grant Shaffer. “It’s incredible, I can’t believe it,” Cumming says about celebrating 20 years with his beau this July. He stresses how remarkable it is the two are together, saying, “Especially in gay years- that’s like 80.”

It hasn’t all been perfect. Cumming has “made some bad choices along the way” but chooses to highlight so much of what is right and what works for him and Shaffer. Cumming says that that sense of groundedness is highly important to him, especially since he’s rarely been single in his adult life. “I’m drawn to being part of a duo. I like coupling, and I like having a partner,” he says.

The two are also very independent and have very successful careers in their own right. That ebb and flow of connection, the balance between cohesion as a pair and individual sense of self, is a huge part of what makes the relationship successful according to Cumming. “And he has his own life. He's an artist, he's got his own thing that's very independent of me, and that's great as well. I really love that. I love the fact that we bring things to each other and it's a two-way street.”

As the saying goes “distance makes the heart grow fonder” and that’s proven to be true for Cumming and Shaffer as well. Cumming says on traveling and both being so independent, “In a way, I think one of the reasons why our relationship is so successful is that we have time apart. It allows you to miss that person. And when you go back, you celebrate them and you are joyful to be there. It's a positive made out of a negative, I suppose.”

After 20 years of marriage, Cumming has a perfect list of what truly matters for those of us hoping to keep the spark alive even half as long. “We are still in love, and we still find each other really sexy,” he says. Incredibly understandable. Shaffer is a handsome man himself, and Alan Cumming’s performance as the Emcee in the 1998 production of Cabarethelped make me the homosexual I am today. There are other things to life than just sustained sex appeal, as important as that may be. Cumming has something else that takes top billing. “Most of all,” he says, “we still make each other laugh.”

30 Years of Out100Out / Advocate Magazine - Jonathan Groff and Wayne Brady

From our Sponsors

Most Popular

Latest Stories

author avatar

Rowan Ashley Smith

Rowan Ashley Smith has often been described as "a multi-hyphenate about town." He loves work that connects him to his cultures as a gay, Jewish, multiracial trans man. Before breaking into journalism, the best days of his professional life were spent as a summer camp professional, a librarian, and an HIV prevention specialist. His work has been featured in GO Magazine, pride.com, and The Advocate. In what is left of his free time, Rowan enjoys performing stand up comedy, doing the NYT crossword, and spending time with his two partners, two children, and four cats.

Rowan Ashley Smith has often been described as "a multi-hyphenate about town." He loves work that connects him to his cultures as a gay, Jewish, multiracial trans man. Before breaking into journalism, the best days of his professional life were spent as a summer camp professional, a librarian, and an HIV prevention specialist. His work has been featured in GO Magazine, pride.com, and The Advocate. In what is left of his free time, Rowan enjoys performing stand up comedy, doing the NYT crossword, and spending time with his two partners, two children, and four cats.