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Ideally, you’re one of those people who absolutely love first dates. You think each one is an exciting opportunity to meet someone new. Despite all the awkward first encounters you’ve had, you genuinely believe this first date will be different. If you are that person, I applaud you. Your optimism is one of a kind, and there’s no reason to keep reading. If you’re like the rest of us, (somewhat) hopeless, (kind of) jaded, and (actively) trying to cancel your Tinder date last minute, then this is for you.
First dates can be awful, or even worse, mediocre. (At least when they’re awful you get a funny story out of it.) Luckily, they don’t have to be.
Here are five steps to guarantee a ~magical~ first date.
1. Make sure you want to be there
Are you tired, think the guy is only kind of cute, and worried about an upcoming deadline? Then this is not the time to go on a first date. Your mind won’t be there, and even if he’s great, you won’t be able to see it. There’s nothing enjoyable about faking excitement and interest with someone you just met. Don’t waste your time or his by going.
2. Have low expectations while still giving him your all
This is ridiculously tough, but also crucial. Having low expectations, while simultaneously being open-minded AND giving him your all may sound paradoxical. But if you can master it, you won’t be let down by bad dates and pleasantly surprised by good ones.
3. Pick dates nearby
When I first started dating, I offered to commute an hour each way just for a 30 minute coffee date. I figured I’m a nice guy, so I’ll try to make it as convenient as possible for him. Don’t do that. I ended up getting so frustrated if the date was meh because I had put so much damn time into it. When possible, pick a place by you or in between.
4. Ask provocative and personal questions
If he starts asking what your siblings do, you know it’s time to bail. Don’t be afraid to push the boundaries and ask some personal or tough questions. No one has ever fallen in love by learning where someone is from or what he does for a living. Not sure what types of questions to ask? Problem solved.
5. Don’t freak out if your after-date kiss is awkward
He went in for the lips and you went in for the cheek. What ended up happening was a weird corner lip kiss that didn’t do anything for anyone. You once had a first date where your first kiss was electric. You knew his moves perfectly and your tongues danced intricately together. Good for you. Relish that memory because it’s not going to happen too often. Kissing styles vary, and most times, it takes a few make out sessions to get used to each other’s lips.
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Zachary Zane
Zachary Zane is a writer, YouTube influencer, and activist whose work focuses on (bi)sexuality, gender, dating, relationships, and identity politics. Check out his YouTube channel here.
Zachary Zane is a writer, YouTube influencer, and activist whose work focuses on (bi)sexuality, gender, dating, relationships, and identity politics. Check out his YouTube channel here.