36 Thoughts That Go Through Your Mind When Your Date’s Late

All dressed up and you even have somewhere to go. Better yet, someone to meet! You’ve trimmed, groomed, gelled, shampooed, and conditioned. Your hair is done up just the way you like it. Perfectly coiffed. Your outfit is on point. You arrive at your first date spot two minutes early, like you usually do. You get a text from your date. “Running 5 minutes late. Sorry.” Of course you’re a little annoyed, but would never admit it. You’re nervous enough as is. So instead you text back, “No worries. Take your time!”

You check your iPhone clock. 6:59 PM.

Check your phone again: 7:07. You check Facebook and Insta. Check your phone again: 7:11. 

A flood of horrific nerve-wracking thoughts rush through your mind.

1. Is he even coming?
2. Urgh. I’m so nervous.
3. Should I wait outside or inside?
4. It’s kind of cold outside.
5. Whatever, let’s just wait outside.
6. How do I stand? Up against the wall? Like a James Dean poster? 
7. What if he’s not cute?
8. What if he thinks I’m not cute?
9. Oh God, what if he saw me and left?
10. I have put on a few pounds since that Tinder pic…
11. This is going to be awful. 
12. Stop it! Don’t be pessimistic. This is going to be great. 
13. If nothing else, it’s for practice. I’ll be better prepared when I meet the man of my dreams.
14. Why did I pick a place so far away?
15. Next time I’m picking a place right by my place.
16. I don’t care if it’s not hip.
17. Alright, it should still be a little bit hip. I mean, come on. Don’t want to go to a shitty bar. 
18. I should limit it to two drinks tonight.
19. Don’t want to be hungover for work tomorrow.
20. I mean, if the date’s going well maybe a third.
21. Or if it’s going really poorly… 
22. Is sex off the table on a first date?
23. Don’t think about sex. If it happens, it happens, but it’s too soon to think about it now.
24. Oh shit. There he is.
25. I’ll walk towards him.
26. When do I say, Hello? 
27. I don’t want to shout it from this far away.
28. Just walk normally.
29. Do I always sway my hips this much?
30. Oh, he’s not that cute…
31. Oh wait, he is.
32. Ok, fewf, he is.
33. Hug or handshake? 
34. Hug. Def hug.
35. “Hey, sorry I was late.”
36. *Faking a huge smile* “Not a problem at all! I just got here!”