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How To Be Good At Being Vers
So what is "vers?"
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If you're unfamiliar with the term, vers is when someone is willing to either top or bottom during sex. It isn't easy being vers; the role requires a lot of communication and practice between partners. But when done right, it's a wonderful experience. Here are a few tips for being good at being vers.
Practice makes perfect
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If you’re going to take on both roles in the bedroom, you’re going to have to know what you’re doing. Practice makes perfect, so get out there, explore, and have some fun.
Come prepared
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Whether you're going to be on the top or the bottom, come prepared for anything. Don't expect him to have the lube or the condoms or the poppers or anything else you may need. Be prepared for anything, always.
Ask about their preferred position
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If you’re truly versatile, you’ll be willing to take any position required in the bedroom. However, not everyone is vers, so just because you are, doesn’t mean you should assume the same of everybody else. Don’t be afraid to ask him what he prefers, and then have fun from there.
Clean up after yourself. Even if you don't plan on bottoming much, you never know where the night will take you. Plus, cleanliness is always a must for any sexual activity. Trust me, your partner will thank you.
Chances are, your partner knows you're vers and thinks it's pretty hot. So flirt about it. Bonus points if they're vers too! They'll love the fact that you could go from a bottom to a top in the course of a few
Part of being vers means getting a little spontaneous and fun. That could mean new toys in the bedroom, or it could mean trying a few unique positions. Either way, don't be afraid to experiment.
Being vers means double of everything. More condoms, more lube, more cleaning, more prep. That means paying for your own lube and condoms is just the most considerate move for you and your partner.
Not all vers people take turns with roles during play. But sometimes they do. For that reason, don't wear anything too extravagant. If you're hot in the moment, you want to be able to take your clothes off quickly and easily if you're switching from top to bottom.
Do you mostly want to top? Will you be a bottom conditionally for certain partners? Do you have boundaries for where a top (or power bottom) can touch? Make sure you know what you want and how you want it before the night begins.
Do you have a preference between being a top or bottom? That's okay, it's common among vers men. Just make sure to be open with your partner about what "vers" means to you, and what that entails in your sex life.
If you're in the middle of play and your partner is hinting that they wouldn't mind taking on your role, why not go ahead and give it a shot? Be in the moment, pay attention to what your partner is doing, and don't be afraid to go with the flow.
A vers man can be a rare find in the queer community. You have the ability to pleasure anyone: tops, bottoms, other vers people, you name it. With great power comes great responsibility. But still, hang your head high and be proud to be vers.
Being vers isn't just about sex itself. It's also about kissing, cuddling, and foreplay. That's what makes being vers so fun! You get to be the kisser or the receiver, the big spoon or the little spoon, the dominant or the submissive.
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Ana Valens
Ana Valens is a trans woman and queer critic. She writes about representation in media and the daily lives of queer and trans women living in the United States. Alongside PRIDE, her work has been seen on Bitch Media, ZEAL, The Mary Sue, Kill Screen, and The Toast.
Ana Valens is a trans woman and queer critic. She writes about representation in media and the daily lives of queer and trans women living in the United States. Alongside PRIDE, her work has been seen on Bitch Media, ZEAL, The Mary Sue, Kill Screen, and The Toast.